Hello and welcome to Healthcare Magic. Thanks for your query.
You need to seek professional help for your depressive feelings and suicidal thoughts. There are effective treatment options - in the form of medication or counselling
which will help you overcome your problems. Regarding regaining your friend's trust, you have to first stop your attention-seeking behaviour and lying for which you have to put in sincere efforts from your side and change this pattern of behaviour. If you need any guidance for this, please don't hesitate to seek professional help. So, please consult a psychiatrist
at the earliest.
Wish you all the best.
- Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar