Hi.many females have the initial fear of pain during sexual intercourse and hence refrain from having it.some females develop vaginismus
,i.e.,involuntary contraction of the vaginal muscles due to fear that leads to difficult or impossible penetration.this can increase the pain.
To correct this,you should try using vaginal mounds.these are available in various sizes in the market.you should begin with the smallest and try inserting it in the vagina on your own till it is comfortable.over time your vagina will adjust to its size and then yiou can begin with the next size.
When trying to have intercourse you may apply a lubricating jelly or a lubricating jelly mixed with a local anesthetic
jelly for the initial few times to helo ease the pain.
Failure to consumate is a ground for divorce and 3 years is a big time.i advice you to begin early and try relaxing yourself.reassure yourself as every female has to conaumate in her life and you are not the first or only one.all the best.