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Penetration difficult during sex, pain in abdomen, erection not satisfactory. What can be done to ease it?

I am 28 yrs old man married to my friend of same age for two months now. We are trying to have penetrative sex for the first time. We are getting nowhere. Here are two problems we are facing. 1. I do not get a hard erection to penetrate myself in her. I face bending of penis . Also, I am not as sensitive to her touches, wheras she is very sensitive to my touches. Oral works on her to get her wet/ orgasm , but I find it difficult to get a hard erection even when she does oral on me. I feel tickles mostly which doesn t help in erection. I get decently erect with anticipation before we engage in foreplay, but can t get the same when we are set for intercourse. I am used to masturbating regularly last 13 years. These days I get a decent erection, only after stroking hard for a minute or so. Could this be the reason I am facing issues? How to get over it? Should we try intercourse sooner using lube, without spending an hour or so for foreplay? I have also noticed many times, whenever sex is in the air between us during the day, there is anticipation and I get erection in my pants so frequently, sometime lasting half an hour continuously. But by the time we get there at night, I don t get any hard and I get a cramped feeling in my abdomen. It starts to ache near my lower abdomen, if I continue to be erect in my pants. We have called off couple of times, and engaged in masturbation instead. I feel awkward when she does hand job on me. Though I get to orgasm, the ejaculate is watery and not as thick as I used to get in the past years. 2. With her, I feel she has a very narrow opening of her vagina . I can insert my middle finger easily, but have trouble when inserting two fingers. And I see tissues (I think, hymen ) hanging from the top of her vagina. Should I do more fingering to see if we could get easy with penetration? Please suggest.
Asked On : Fri, 15 Mar 2013
Answers:  1 Views:  32
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Urologist 's  Response
Jul 2016
Thanks for your query.Based on the facts that you have posted it appears that you have

problem of getting hard erection and penetrating vagina during sexual intercourse due to narrow vaginal opening of your wife.

Your problem of Erectile dysfunction seems to be mind related and due to performance anxiety.

Following measure will help you to boost up your confidence and getting good erection.
1) Practice regular exercise for 45 minutes followed by meditation for 1/2 an hour in the morning.
2) Take high protein diet rich in vegetables and fruits and Vitamin A,C,D,E.and Zinc
3)Take anti oxidants like Almonds 5-6 everyday..
4) Avoid alcohol and smoking..

Please consult qualified Gynaecologist and get your wife examined to ule out vaginismus . If needed she can dilate her vagina by perforating hymen manually .

Answered: Tue, 16 Jul 2013
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