Hi and welcome to Healthcare Magic. Thanks for your question...
You seem to have a risk / predisposition for abusing medication and drugs and hence should be very careful in initiating any medication or substance which has psychological effects. Repeated and constant use of such substances, though may give you a high on a short term basis, will definitely have deletirious consequences not only on your general health but on your brain's cognitive abilities as well. So, please consult a psychiatrist
for help with getting rid of these addiction problems.
Wish you all the best.
- Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar