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No sexual desire. Want to save marriage. Medicines to increase desire?

Hi Doc,I am 35yr married women with one daughter of 3yr. I have a sex related problem to discuss with u. I have almost nil desire for sex. We had a lot of problems having intercourse after our marriage and for almost 2-3 yrs were not able to do intercourse.I was fearful of the pain and like I mentioned I did not enjoy it so did not make any effort to do it.Ours is a love marriage so my husband also adjusted , we then somehow were able to have intercourse and had a baby.Post that also we had sex very rarely though we were having oral sex but intercourse was very rare.I never took this seriously and my husband had also adjusted to this situation though he always had very strong desires but used to masturbate. Then I came to know few months back that my husband was having an extramarital affair with his office collegue for past 3yrs ,which started just before our daughter was born. I know the reason why he got distracted because of my own incompetency. we are still together but he is not able to forget her because she filled the gap which we had. now he wants to be with her, marry her but does not want to leave me and daughter as he still loves us.he is most of the time upset and not happy and has started drinking excessively. I still love him and he loves me too but he misses that girl because she had given him what I could not. He still has her in his thoughts and is having problem taking out those memories. I want to save my marriage and remove her thoughts from my husbands mind by creating good moments together. Now he does not seem to be interested in sex with me as he thinks he would be cheating on me by having sex with me and thoughts of her. I need your help in overcoming my incapability of having almost no desire for sex. and developing not only frequent desire for sex but also enjoying it with my husband.Basically the fine art. if you could refer books and for increasing the desire , some medicines you can suggest , I would be greatly thankful.
Asked On : Sat, 4 Aug 2012
Answers:  3 Views:  189
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General & Family Physician 's  Response
Thanks for query,
I think you should be changed yourself early?
However nothing will lost .
Remember that sex is in our mind & not in body or any organ.
If you make up your mind to prepare for sex you get repeated desire for it.That is up to you .Just leave all embress,all customs aside & ready to save your marriage life.
Tension free mind without any anxiety gets stimulation to parasympathetic system gets more arousal for sex.
Just ask your husband that you are ready to go for sex & what he prefer which type ,what frequency ,where when will help you a lot.
Frequent sex may change his mind & he will forgot the other .
Answered: Tue, 14 Aug 2012
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Dentist Dr. Sapna Purwaha's  Response
i read your problem .i think i have a is mind
activity.first of all try to get back your husband back in your life.
make him remember all the good memories when u wrre together.
appologise to him since you stop him during srx and promise
him you want do it again.
for you i wpuld advice you use 2%xylocaine before sex.
this will relieve you from pain and you want stop him
from penetration.seduce him with sexual activity.
watch porn movies together beforevmaking love.
dont think toi much while having sex.just express your love
for him and you feel the same.touch your husband thighs
with full affection this will excite him.
wear sexy nightdresses seduce your hubby spend private
time with him make him fall in love with you again.
all the best
Answered: Wed, 19 Sep 2012
I find this answer helpful
  User's Response
Hi young woman, you are most welcome here over the HCM. After well reading the past events' history I am of the opinion that all of the mishandling s done by you for your husband's sexual needs are responsible for your present unhappy status of married life and as a sequence he has been well courted by another woman too and for you are advised to well court him with your love in any way that you are having with you at present and for to raise your sexual desire you need many therapies i.e. remedial measured procedures including the services of well trained woman sex therapist who may get you well trained in fine art of sex and love makings and you are again advised deep breathing, pelvic floor and abdominal muscles' toning exercises under the guidance of woman sex therapist and your pain which you experience during intercourse will absolutely go off by remedial measured treatments for some time and I am sure you will become alright within a couples of months and your hubby will be attracted over your well beings and nice behavior and wish you good luck for to enjoy life with your family free from any type of stressed tension...........psy doc
M: +918826952459
Answered: Sun, 23 Sep 2012
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