Hello and welcome to Healthcare Magic. Thanks for your query.
I understand that you are feeling frustrated and dejected due to your multiple problems. You have gone through repeated emotional trauma and stressful events right from childhood. Your current social situation also appears to be stressful and you seem to be finding it difficult to cope.
Since you are very distressed and have reached points of emotional breakdown, I think it is essential that you seek help. It is true that we have to be strong, but also remember that we are all human and at certain times, when difficulties overwhelm us, we have to seek help. Going to a counsellor or psychiatrist
doesn't mean that one is crazy. It just means that you are seeking help for a genuine problem which you are finding it difficult to handle.
There are very effective treatment options - either in the form of medication or counselling
/ psychological therapies which can help you handle your stress and deal with these adversities better.
Wish you all the best.
Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar