I think your problem is beyond , counselling
. Now you may be suffering from severe depression
and therapy may not be able to help you completely. It is better you consult a psychiatrist
and get yourself evaluated . If he will find you in need of medication he will prescribe you one and your problem may be solved. Don't wait too long before it get more worse , also you don't have support system . My advice is that you should start treatment ASAP.