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I dont have any attraction to opposite sex, what is wrong with me ?

I sir in my teen age i was continuosly thinkg of sex as i thought i m not feeling attracted to opposite sex and now i am not able to take my eye of it however i really dnt want such thing and so when i look opposite sex it just cmes in my mind and i became very self consious and guilty. This behaviour has made me loss evrything in my life plzz help me.The problem i created to my self in teens is making me go hell. Now I am 27 and have a child and still the problem persist my guilt while looking at people making me go in this problem of self consiousness. Pleas help me.
Asked On : Sun, 6 Feb 2011
Answers:  6 Views:  123
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Ayurveda Specialist 's  Response
please mention ur age if ur in teens then it,s the effect of sex hormones u have to accept the changes & consult any pshycologist for proper perception.
Answered: Sun, 6 Feb 2011
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Psychiatrist Dr. B Raghavendra's  Response

From what you have said, it seems you come from either a strict family background where talking to or looking at opposite sex is considered wrong or you have yourself inculcated these overvalued ideas in yourself. This has now become so much ingrained in your system that it is causing you both mental distress as well as practical problems in life.

These deep rooted beliefs for ex in your case it could be "if you look at a man that means you are a "loose" woman" etc etc ...(please understand I am only giving you examples)....these are called schemas in Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT-a kind of talking therapy).

When you look at a man then there comes a negative thought into your mind like for ex (again I am guessing here) "See I am looking at him as I am lusting for him"....these are called negative automatic thoughts (NAT) in CBT jargon because of a kind of thinking error called "Thought Action Fusion" ie.e just by looking at him you are desiring both thoughts and actions have Indian philosophy it is called "trikarana" i.e three types of actions...mind, speech and behaviour. People aim for "trikarana sudhdhi" i.e purity in all the three modes. so even thinking about something becomes an action...a typical example of "thinking error" classified under "Thought action fusion" in western medicine. So, it all depends on your cultural upbringing as well and hence the therapist needs to be culturally sensitive.

All in all if it is significantly disturbing you, better see a psychotherapist or psychiatrist if this can be helped or in the first place needs to be helped. Medication plays very little role in your kind of personality trait problems.

Hope this helps
Good Luck
Answered: Wed, 9 Feb 2011
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  User's Response
I think ya this is what happenning with me but going and consulting will not be very easy for me. Sir if u could tell me some exercise which will help me overcoming this problem will be of great help.
Answered: Wed, 9 Feb 2011
Psychiatrist Dr. B Raghavendra's  Response

Please understand that what you have described are symptoms whihc are called personality traits...deeply embedded patterns of thinking and reacting to what you perceive the world, its relation with you and how you feel world expects you to be etc etc etc.

Sorry but there are no exercises which will help you with modifying them though any kind of exercise is good for you both physically as well as mentally.

If you want a change psychologically, you MUST work on it. Now a days, there is no need for you to even move from the confines of your house as many psychiatrists do online consultations. That way you save time, money and stigma etc etc etc.

Feel free to check out the consultation services provided on this website. Obviously, I will be available as well if you ask me by name :-) Anyways, if you feel you are significantly handicapped by your problem, then there is no other go than having consultation. EXERCISES WILL NOT HELP.

Answered: Thu, 10 Feb 2011
I find this answer helpful
  User's Response
Hi Sir,

Thankyou you so much for your help. I understand what are you trying to convince me. Yesterday while surfing on internet I found this book called Five Areas Approach by Dr. Cris williams. I hope this will help me in solving my problem alot. This would not have possible without your consult.

Answered: Thu, 10 Feb 2011
Psychiatrist Dr. B Raghavendra's  Response
Hi Rikha,

Very good. Am glad that I was of help. Please go through the entirely free website run by Dr Chris Williams called May be it will help you put the 5 areas approach in practise better. This is based entirely on this 5 areas approach. This website must have helped thousands now. God Bless him.

Please remember one thing...reading or attending a weekly one hr session with a practitioner does not help. It should be a stimulus for you to put into practise, in the remainign (24x7-1) hrs that you live your life, what you have learnt while reading or in the session.

Good Luck
Answered: Thu, 10 Feb 2011
I find this answer helpful
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