Dear Welcome to HCM We understand your concerns I went through your details. I suggest you not to worry much. This is not loneliness, but pure depression. Negative thinkings and uncontrolled thinkings during loneliness do bring self harming behavior. Please consult a psychiatrist for better treatment and to save your future. If you require more of my help in this aspect, Please post a direct question to me in this website. Make sure that you include every minute details possible. I shall prescribe the needed psychotherapy techniques which should help you cure your condition further. Hope this answers your query. Available for further clarifications. Good luck.