Hello and welcome ma am. I can understand your fear and only wish we could discuss this in detail, if you can then please write to me directly using the paid/premium service. Fear or phobia of sexual penetration in women is usually due to some deep-seated fear of an unfortunate life event that took place some time in the past (mostly childhood). I would like you to think and tell me if you had any such experience. I am only here to help. You will need to discuss your fears with me or a counselor personally. Once we better understand your fear and help you understand the difference between that experience and your husband, we can then move forward to a few exercises that should help you become more comfortable with penetration. Conception and pregnancy is not possible without vaginal penetration and so you need help, and I am here to provide that to you if you are willing to contact me directly. There is treatment available, so please do not hesitate to ask for it. You can have a normal sexual life and enjoy it as well. Best wishes.