Okay this is really hard for me to explain what is wrong or happening but I hope someone out there can help me because I am really scared and feel like I am losing it. I am not shy, nor do I hide in the background so this is really weird. I feel anxious all the time, I feel like I am fading away, if I look at someone or think too deep then I fade out and turn all hot, all over hot and my hearing seems diminished. Writing this puts me in this weird deshavu daze where I just feel so strange and I feel like my brain is skipping or missing. I start to think about something and it pulls me into a trance like state sort of, it's just so weird and scary. I have a lot going on, I lost a job that I loved more then one could no, I have never been fired in my life (I am 47 years old) My husband is in jail for hurting my daughter and I have an extended TPO on him. I have started a new job and I have been taking on more and more responsibilities but I am excited about proving to my new boss just how much of an asset I will become. Although I welcome the job I am fearful I will fail in some way. I keep thinking into a daze and strange thoughts that take me off to other thoughts like being at Disneyland then I get this strange spell like I am fading and losing it. I'm so scared. My insurance doesn't kick in until mid July. I have been diagnosed with Anxiety, OCD, and Panic disorder along with Fibromialgia and surgery induced menopause. I was given medication but was afraid to take it and threw it away. I will panic at the thought of someone driving me to the point I have cancelled up-coming Disneyland trip with my daughter although she will now go with her brother and his girlfriend and young son. I can sike myself out for my up-coming shift of work this coming Sunday I work Sunday-Thursday although I know I will be fine. Why do I do this? I am literally crying right now because I am afraid there is something so wrong with me. I have only had these symptoms for about 2 1/2 months never had before the weird strange daze thing the panic and anxiety I have had but can control it like my OCD I can control it right now I need to know where my keys are and that isn't that bad however if I do get over it then it will be replaced with something else like a few years prior I would under no circumstances get into a elevator real fun when you need floor 33 ;). I am a good person I work with elderly people and I love my job. I really need to feel like I am not going crazy I can't seem to stop the constant deep trance like thoughts that end up in a faded dazed sort of de shavu ish feeling. Please any responses, I really need them. I was recently in the hospital prior to my husband being arrested because I thought I was having a heart attack, turns out i actually have the heart of a 30 year old but my blood pressure was 110/190 so I am now on medication which makes me dizzy and confused so I now take it at night. I have started drinking wine a little more so I can not have the mind freeze, daze feelings that seems to keep me from over thinking or thinking nonsense I mean really some of the thoughts make no sense like looking at someone and wondering how their life is and if they love like I do or keep their kids safe what ever I hate it, it is so scary.