Welcome to HCM!
I have read your question carefully and somehow I feel that you either have mixed seizures ( GTCS plus Dissociative) or only dissociative ( due to
stress) ones.
The points which make me feel that you have dissociative seizures are---- that you are having them so frequently,
---you feel depressed from past two years,
----there is no history suggestive of
injury, fall,
tongue bite, cheek bite, tooth breaking, in - continence during any of them ( at least not mentioned in query) ----and all scans are within normal limits.
Even if now you want to confirm that wether you have GTCS, then get an EEG or serum
prolactin levels, they rise in a true seizure and come to normal limits within next 24hrs, an EEg will come abnormal when you have true seizure.
in mixed seizures, patient is given antiepileptics and medicines for stress , which take care of both the things.
I think that you must see a
psychiatrist, even if you have true seizures, as, you have significant
depression, hopelessness and worthlessness, which is harmful for you. Your condition is difficult right now but let me tell you, I have seen cases worse than yours getting completely well.
So, there is still Hope but you need to gather some strength for yourself and move ahead!
Please fix an appointment with a psychiatrist and do see him atleast once. Till then please continue with the medicines.
Hope this answer gives you some help in getting well
please feel free to ask more questions
Dr. Manisha Gopal