Thanks for posting on HCM,
From your description you are having more of joint diseases rather than DVT or may-thurner syndrome
(which should be excluded of course given that it is red, painful and swollen). You might be having a septic osteoarthritis
(joint infection caused by bacteria) or gouty arthritis (joint diseases caused by accumulation of uric acid in joints synovium). Given the simultaneous occurrence in both of you, it is possible that you both have contracted an infection (which is not necessarily sexual but rather through human contact or interactions).
Even though you say you do not have a health insurance, going to see a doctor now, will be the best thing for both of you.
At home you might take antiinflammatory such as diclofenac
50mg (2 tablets twice daily) or ibuprofen 400mg (2 tablets twice daily), put ice packs on the swellings and take OTC antibiotics such as amoxicillin
to see if any improvements.
Hope this helps