Hello and welcome to Healthcare Magic. Thanks for your query.
You appear to be suffering from an emotional crisis, probably depression
and you need to seek professional help for your depressive feelings and suicidal thoughts. There are effective treatment options - in the form of medication or counselling
which will help you overcome your problems. Please take the help of a close friend or relative to guide and support you through the treatment process.
Wish you all the best.
- Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar