Hello and welcome to Healthcare Magic. Thanks for your query.
I understand that you have been going through a very difficult time since childhood - with your depression
, suicidal attempts, drinking problems, other negative life events, etc. Since you have had a miscarriage
and have irregular and painful menstrual cycles, it is important that you have a proper gynecological evaluation done.
There can be a variety of causes for miscarriage and it is necessary to find out the probable cause, so that adequate preventive measures can be taken for your future pregnancies. Though you've had a very difficult past, if you take steps to quit taking any harmful substances and seek help in handling your problems, then I think your body and mind will be able to get back to normal soon. So, please take positive steps and seek appropriate professional help.
Wish you all the best.
Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar