I can understand your concern for the problem that you are going through. However, anxiety
is not going to help you. Try to relax and stay with your partner without any fear, compulsion or hesitation. Try to get out of the past nightmares
or bad experiences if any. You are a grown up person you should act in a matured and responsible way to help your marriage bloom. You are made for each other.
Just give positive feedbacks to your brain and you will be amazed to find your body react in a better way. Do not enforce any moves to yourself. Do what you like and try to enjoy your partners moves.
Shyness may ruin your life. Regretting later is useless. You should love to become a butterfly, get out of your cacoon. Once you get mentally prepared and happy to share life's intimate moments with your partner your pelvis muscles will show response and you will get out of your problem.
Vaginal tightness (vaginismus
) is an involuntary tightness of the vaginal muscles making sexual intercourse difficult, painful and at times impossible. You are suffering from primary vaginismus. Try to visit a gym and consult an expert, do exercises that helps to relax your pelvis and vaginal floor. Lose weight and get into shape. A counselor can help you eliminate your mental blocks.
Consult your gynecologist and get clinically assessed, she can help you with vaginal dilators. Any past bruises or injuries can be clinically examined to make things better for you. If needed do get investigations done to rule out any congenital malformations. Have a good day, take care.