Welcome to HCM
We understand your concerns
I went through your descriptions. I suggest you not to worry too much. From the description you are providing, I can conclude that you are a victim of anxiety
. You are preoccupied with thoughts which are negative and are fatal.
You should consult a general physician and get some tests done and get yourself diagnosed. I am sure that you will come out clean. This step is to make things clear.
After completion of the first step, find a psychologist
/ psychotherapist and do as per his advice. You may have to consult a psychiatrist
also. Don't hesitate. Treatment can make you clear. Not ignorance.
Hope this answers your doubts. Available for further clarifications.
Good luck. Get well soon.