Hello and welcome to Healthcare Magic. Thanks for your query.
I understand that you are going through a very stressful and difficult time. These thoughts and suspicions which you keep getting - that people are watching you, speaking ill about you and that something wierd is going on around you could be psychotic symptoms. Sometimes, when depression
becomes severe, the person can develop psychotic symptoms.
Since, these problems seem to be distressing you a lot and you are also having ideas of harming yourself, I would advise you to see your doctor as early as possible so that you can have a detailed psychological assessment and further treatment.
Wish you all the best.
Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar