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Family problems caused by money issues and petty things. Mental harassment from family. Suggestions?

hello doctor, i am chandru, now i am mentally fully obset because of my family problem, now i am working in muscat... my father mother living in coimbatore... and my wife & son living in mangalore my father in law house, my parents old people i am always love with my parents, my wife & my son also.....but probelems are 1. my wife adament charector doctor, shes not respect to me & my family members, 2. shes only like my money only, i support my parents..shes always fight with me, 3. my marriage 3 years almost over these three years period shes staying with my parents only 15 days...shes always like her mother house and members. 4. basically i am from poor family, my parents and my yelder brother suppot based, i finished my UG & PG degree now every month i send money 20% of my my mother account, and 30% for my wife account, 40% loan commitments, remainig 10% for house my wife always disturbing me why you support your parrents, my mother also not understanding me shes told you always favaour to your wife side.....i am mentally fully obset doctor, no saving in my account...they are always fight with me, i need my wife & son, at the same time i need my parents also, and i want to save money for freely without domination, i want to piecefull life doctor, help me, they are always disturbed via phone....every day tarcharing life doctor, please save me......lot of issues is there i mentioned here few thinks only doctor......i am waiting for your valuble medical solution doctor....thank you.
Asked On : Tue, 26 Mar 2013
Answers:  2 Views:  34
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Psychiatrist 's  Response
Dec 2014
Welcome to HCM

The problem you have mentioned can be solved only if you start trying. You are in middle of two terminals. You have elderly parents and younger brother on one side and on the other side you have wife and your children. Neither your wife nor your mother are understanding you. They accuse you to help other party. First of all I would like to advise you that be assertive for what you want. You can't leave your parents and also you can't leave your own wife. Be assertive and tell your wife that you will send money to your parents and she has no right to stop you. Similarly tell your mother that you will send money to your wife and she should not stop you. If any one accuses you then simply tell them either hung up the phone and don't call me or talk about some other topic. Don't feel stressed. It is a common problem in migrants in which no one is at fault but still problem remain there. And save at least 10% of money you earn in your own personal account. Don't tell anyone about this. You can cut this money from both sides. This is a suggestion and you should work for your own well being.

Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi, MD
Answered: Wed, 27 Mar 2013
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Psychiatrist Dr. Sundar Gnanavel's  Response
Thanks for your query. I understand the emotional turmoil you are undergoing due to the multiple interpersonal issues. I would suggest you meet a psychological counsellor to resolve the interpersonal issues or a clinical psychologist to try interpersonal/ couple psychotherapy modality to try and resolve the differences with your wife. You also need to remember that continous stress predisposes you to develop depressive disorder. Wish you all the best.
Dr Sundar
Answered: Wed, 27 Mar 2013
I find this answer helpful
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