Hi there ~ I understand all that you are going through. It is called endogenous or clinical depression. It is not uncommon in these conditions to have these thoughts. However getting the right treatment in the form of medications, and therapy and maybe hospitalization for a few days might be helpful in your case. The scary thoughts are negative thoughts not just anxiety. Anxiety and depression feed off of each other. I think this answers your question. Your next stop is surely a psychiatrist. I hope this helped. Take care and have a lovely day !