Get your Health question answered in 3 easy steps
A Doctor will be with you shortly
Ask a Doctor Now
157 Doctors are Online

Does having soft sex mean low sexual attraction?

I wonder if you could help ? I have been with my partner for 5 months now and when we are together we have a major sexual attraction and he gets an erection straight away. Yet when we try and have sex it goes soft and doesn t seem to be able to get an erection. Yet he s erect in the morning and when we have oral sex , yet it goes soft when we have sex. Do you have any answers. He if 50 yrs old, good health, fit. Yet he split up form his partner a year agom he tells me he never had any problems in that relationship. So could he have a low hormone level or the mental attraction between is not their, yet he says in his head he has a major attraction to me and is constantly thinking naughty things. Please please could you advice as I am beginning to think he doesn t have a sexual attraction too me . Fi
Asked On : Thu, 17 Jan 2013
Answers:  2 Views:  151
Report Abuse
Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Google+
Question is related to
Diseases and Conditions
General & Family Physician 's  Response
Hello and welcome,

Thanks for your query.

Let us first discuss the age factor, a man in his 50's is going to notice a change in his performance, though not always, but there is a chance his performance is a little different from what it was earlier, in this case, with his previous partner.

Another thing we should discuss is the possibility of tiring him out with oral sex and in turn reducing his performance during sexual intercourse. What I would advise would be to refrain from oral stimulation or making him climax through oral sex, and leave most of his energy for the real thing.

This would help in ensuring a long standing erection.

Next would be to keep him constantly stimulated. At times, while one partner is concentrating on the other, he/she is neglected and might lead to a less stimulated state.

Why don't you start the session with him concentrating on stimulating you, followed by you stimulating him, which would ensure an erection, immediately after which you can perform sexual intercourse.

Please do not misunderstand him, the technique is always the most important thing in a sexual relationship and during intercourse. Always keep an open mind and I am sure he will show you physically how sexually attracted he is to you.

Asking him questions would only lead to him feeling more conscious and even frustrated as he is not able to show you how sexually attracted he is to you. Instead allot more time on sexually stimulating him, and boost his confidence.

I hope I have succeeded in answering your questions, you could write back to us anytime for further clarifications.

Best wishes.
Answered: Tue, 22 Jan 2013
I find this answer helpful

 1 user finds this helpful

1 Doctor agrees with this answer

Psychiatrist Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar's  Response
Hello and welcome to Healthcare Magic. Thanks for your query.

Your husband seems to be suffering from an erectile dysfunction. Now, there can be a variety of causes for this problem - both medical causes as well as psychological causes. So, the first and most important step in management is proper evaluation.

This will include a detailed medical, sexual, personal and social history, a thorough physical examination and certain investigations, as per the necessity. Further treatment is based on the likely cause detected. There are also certain medication which can increase the blood flow to the penis and improve erection. Please consult a doctor for further evaluation and treatment.

Regards,
Dr. Jonas Sundarakumar
Consultant Psychiatrist & Sexologist
Answered: Tue, 22 Jan 2013
I find this answer helpful
Disclaimer: These answers are for your information only and not intended to replace your relationship with your treating physician.
This is a short, free answer. For a more detailed, immediate answer, try our premium service [Sample answer]
 

 

Loading Online Doctors....
© Ebix, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
All the information, content and live chat provided on the site is intended to be for informational purposes only, and not a substitute for professional or medical advice. You should always speak with your doctor before you follow anything that you read on this website. Any health question asked on this site will be visible to the people who browse this site. Hence, the user assumes the responsibility not to divulge any personally identifiable information in the question. Use of this site is subject to our Terms & Conditions
Already Rated.
Your rating:

Ask a Doctor