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From your description I suspect presence of obsessive compulsive disorder
) or impulse control disorder
If problem is causing much difficulty in social-occupational functioning then It is better to get in person assessment by psychiatrist
as soon as possible. In most of the problem improved after treatment. So, do not worry and do not attempt to harm self.
I hope this information has been both informative and helpful for you.
Wish you Good Health.
Dr. Ashish Mittal