Welcome to HCM
I can understand your feelings and the stress you are going through. Complaints of self harm or suicidal ideation
are really alarming. First of all I would like to advise you to talk with some close friend or family member regarding the stress and suicidal thoughts.
The symptoms like someone is watching you or suspiciousness, seeing things or hallucinations
are most likely retires of Prodromal schizophrenia
. I advise you to visit a good psychiatrist
for proper opinion as if proper treatment given at this stage you will see improvement in no time.