i am caring for a lady who has alz and is very dependent but her husband wants me to shower his wife. she refuses me every time. there were other people from different agencies and no one was ever able to get her in the tub. i feel like a big failure but i cannot get her to agree to shower. she does not smell, i believe she washes as much. she was a very meticolous person, she is still this. the man in her life is not a spouse but i think he should do much of her personal care and i should make sure she is safe while i am doing babysitting.