I am a student in a university and I have taken psychology classes and such, and I was wondering about my mental state. Now i know that may be weird to ask but I need to know if a have anxiety disorder or something because of my past and how do I stop being the way I am.

I want to start by saying I have had a hard childhood. The asian culture I grew up in was very demanding so I feel as if now that I'm on my own living and supporting myself without my parents completely...the things i experience are because of my past and i just am not consciously aware of it. My parents never told me they were proud of me and I was always not the best...I was never good enough for my parents even though in reality I was above average in school all the time. The past four years have been difficult and i have just recently moved out two months ago. My parents and I were able to try to mend things together and I got close and dependent on my parents and then they got mad and left me over and over...they never stayed the same. WHat I mean by leaving me...I mean disowning me...stop talking to me...etc.

I'm in a wonderful relationship with a guy I will probably marry in the future. I want everything to be well, but I have concerns. My boyfriend is wonderful, but I get scared for no reason that I'm going to lose him. Sometimes because I'm afraid he will find someone better. I'm so insecure and I don't have any reason to be and I know that i don't have reasons to be but i am and I don't know why. In addition, I feel so sad and sometimes mad- but more sad- when things don't go as planned. Its almost like I am so uptight and stiff and not flexible like I know I am.

I want to know why I act like this. I get periods of sadness as well even when I have no reason to be. I'm really happy out of my parents' house. But i have the concerns I have listed above. Also...if this is all because of my past, how do I let go of the past? How do I stop my mind from thinking too much negatively?

thanks