You are suffering and getting disturbed in the present whereas the event has happened a long time back in the past. What it tells you is that you still have current beliefs about what happened back then. This is not a new concept I am narrating here. Emotional disturbances are not "caused by" the events that happen with us, but by our perception of the events, inferences we draw from them and by the 'evaluative meanings' we attach to such events.
This is exactly what needs to be discussed in psychotherapy
. I am sad to know your counselors could not help you, but it doesn't mean no other counselor or therapist will be able to help. You need someone who picks up this topic and leads you to the very core of your beliefs about what happened. This can help you identify what are the thoughts you can modify to lead a happy life with minimal disturbance.
I am sure even you acknowledge that you have draw a lot of self-downing inferences from the molestation. For example - "I am not a manly person if I was molested by another man". This is a perfect example of a self-downing inference. Inferences can be wrong!
And it does not stop at just one level of inferencing. We draw more inferences from inferences, until we reach at a point where it all means "I am a weak person", "nothing will change", etc. These are just hypotheses I can offer at this stage, as I have not talked with you face to face.
If you wish, we can exchange a few more replies here so that you get the help you are expecting out of this forum. You may also consider taking a course of psychotherapy from a trained expert. Psychotherapy can address the issue more readily, as against counseling, where the process is more of a "feel good" talk. And I know you are certainly not seeking that now.
Hope this reply helps a bit. Let us know for more.
Abhijeet Deshmukh, MD