Dealing with my ex-gf

Hi there. Here is a short description to my story with my ex. i have been with her for 2 years. everything was fine, passion, emotions, etc. I can talk about myself, but she admits too that she enjoyed staying with me. Anyway. the last months, things were going not good between us. I mean, i was feeling like i lost the priority in her life. So i tried to talk to her, maybe like pushing a little more, but anyway, i was feeling jealous. I have to admit that, she wasnt feeling the same anymore, i guess because of me and my "want to know the truth" behaviour. Anyway. I have to say i did some bad things, like spying on her, trying to catch her, proving her love to me time after time, etc. As the time went by, finally i got the truth i was searching. In the same time, she was cheating on me with her ex. After i got the truth, i confronted her, and she couldnt lie, but to tell the truth. So i broke up with her. During the first 2 months, i tried to speak to her for the last time (i dont know why i did it, maybe i was so deeply in love, and i was blind), but she didnt respond. After those months, she sent me a message, and i responded. It was wrong, but now is done. Anyway, its being 6 months since the breakup, which was fast and messy, and now we have a common speech with eachother (although she still feels bad about the spying things etc). She told me that she really hopes and she knows that some day these bad feelings of her will flee away, so that we can have a normal conversation, but she doesnt know how long it will take. She also apologied she hurted me. All she wants now, is this communication. I thought that, because she still feels bad, and i wont get anything more than a friendship with her, i should better get out of her life completely. So i sent her a mail, telling her it was not good for her that i still stay in her life. That she has to heal her wounds faster, and in the same time she should forget about me completely. She sent me a mail, telling me that she was confused, and that usually she doesnt like the relations to end this way. And that, although what happend, still there was a middle time, which for her was good and real, and she cant and she dont want to forget. Also, she said that she appreciates my effort for making her feel better, by staying completely away from her life, but she doesnt think that will change anything. For what i know, she got a new relation with her ex, after our breakup, and now, they contact through mails and so on (as she went outside country for 2 years). On the other side, she wants me to be her (some kind of) friend and talk to me. She doesnt know that i know about her boyfriend, as i didnt asked her what in reality happend after the breakup. Anyway, the most important thing in here is that, i still feel a lot for this girl, i admit she changed my life for the better (forget about the breakup), and that she went so deep in my heart, noone couldnt. Im some kind of tough gyu, when it comes to relations, and i dont feel so much for my partners, but this girl was someone different. My mind already dealed with the fact that i loosed her for good (as a relation), but my heart still wants her. I dont want to lose her, but also i dont want to give myself false hopes about the future. I also dont want to be just "friends" with her (maybe im a little egoist) because these feelings wont go anywhere. I admit that im some kind of guy who wont be tired of searching what is good for me, and that i got all the energy to work on my behaviour (i know i have some complexes), and to make her feel good if she wants to come back. But there is always a "what if" in my mind. I just dont know what is in her mind. But i know whats in mine. I know about my own complexes, and i know i should work on them, not because of her, but because of me. Why i took the path of staying in contact with her? Hopes, but also to let her know that i know about myself, and that i want to try to work on myself, so that she can trust me, and that what i call mistakes i call mistakes. But i dont know if it will be enough for her. On the other side, i admit that i cant see nor i want to see her just as a friend of mine. Because i love her, and i will never change that vision of her in my mind, and also because im some type of flirting guy, and i will never stop being so, with anyone. I also feel afraid of talking to her this way, telling her what i feel for her, because i think she wont believe any word of mine (because of her suspictions). What do you suggest me to do? Any kind of respond, will be very helpful. Thank you!