Question: im a male, 22 years old, 178 pounds and 5"8

I need help. Below are a list of problems I encounter with my daily life. Aside from all of it you would think i am extremely normal. But that's because of all the control I exhibit but I don't know for how long as it's getting worse. I feel I will soon lose my mind and forget who I am and my brain will forget how to live a normal natural life

I find myself Spacing out a lot and having trouble living in the here and now

Experience A lot of confusion

Episodes of Depression

Stress and anxiety

I get a Major storm of tics

Explaining my OCD and tics with computer references

Pop ups - distracting obsessive thoughts

System lagging- tics and tremors

System overload & overheating- over analyzing, thinking too much at once

More lagging- tics and tremors

System freezing or crashing- analysis paralysis

Blue screen of death- migraine, panic attacks

Having trouble completing thoughts. Feel as if if my mind is like a puzzle, it's all messed up and I have to put all the pieces together again.

Tics Feels like trying to control chaos in the body. Like trying to suppress a fire or calm a storm

I misplace things a lot
Have trouble living in the here and now

In a conversation I would not pay much attention to what is being said, but things like their body language, facial expressions. I have trouble following what the person is saying, although my mind intuitively processes it and knows exactly how to respond.

Excessive attention to bodily sensations
And sensory sensitivity such as how my arm feels pressed against something, or the feeling of my eyes, or the cold breeze on my skin.

Some of the tics are eye blinking, contracting my abdomen or other muscles of the body.

Tics become worse when my mind finds itself analyzing something while I'm multitasking

Obsessively trying to understand how the human mind processes information, and how consciousness works. How we understand language, meaning, purpose. I sometimes even try to dissect the human brain and understand why people are all different to the core through careful observation of myself and others.

Obsessed with psychology pseudoscience like mbti, enneagram, global 5 type, the 4 temperaments, astrology, personality disorders, and how they all connect to each other and to personalities. I'm an Aquarius and an ENTP

Obsessed with the idea of the perfect person. A god, or a superhuman that thinks, acts and does everything perfectly. Complete, balanced, XXXXXXX of all trades of some sort, and sometimes what a perfect utopia would look like.

I think I'm Not happy with who I am entirely and always trying to be a perfect better person. I sometimes pick out qualities that I like in another person and try to program it in a sense to my very being

Engaging in thoughts that requires a lot of thinking such understanding time travel or solipsism, development of a human character with both biology and nurturing, creationism, the understanding of language. When I think about such things, i get a lot of urges to tic, it's like information overload or the firing of millions of neurons at once. And I won't stop till I comprehend it.

I over categorize everything and make a lot of lists, much like this one and try to place it in systems and seeing how it all connects together.

Trying to place myself in other people's minds very often and trying to see how that person may see things

Have to live my life with systems, like I'm some kind of robot or man playing a chess game, nothing can be done subconsciously and autonomous. If everyone's brain is like an automatic car and all they have to do is gas it, break and worry about steering, my brain is the ultimate manual car. Everything's manual down to the combustion of the engine and the intake of air and exhaust to the computer of the car. I have to remind myself to observe my surroundings, to breathe, ask myself how I feel about a situation, how I should act and execute things properly.

My mind feels like a super computer in a very limited human brain. Or a fast operating system on an old computer with low XXXXXXX
I feel like XXXXXXX XXXXXXX in limitless

When I can't understand something my mind gets into an electrical storm of anxiety and desire to tic. I feel like I'm having a seizure. And until I understand it the desire to tic won't go away. I cannot complete a thought without wanting to tic

When I'm around a lot of stimulation like loud music, a lot of people a lot of lights I get very stressed.

Afraid to be myself or be natural in social situations. handle social situations pretty robotically and unnaturally although I execute things greatly. was a salesman, so I adjust myself to whoever I'm speaking to.

It's difficult because I can suppress it so well, but most people don't know I'm suffocating in my own thoughts and tic storm. It's like putting a lid on a boiling pot of water.

I understand everything you're saying. However I've had this since I was 6. I would ponder about the universe at the age of 4. I would have an eye blinking tic at the age of 6 and when I conquered it it developed into something else. One doctor said OCD another said Tourette's and one said depression. Yet no one in my family has Tourette's, my dad has anxiety tho and some of my family members have or had some OCD like cleaning ocd's medically diagnosed. I wonder if a functional MRI can see this. Vividly in color. It affects me a lot because I've even had a car accident because of it. I was so distracted in my head that it caused me to lose focus and got struck by a car. It's that serious.

Would you say doctor that anxiety, OCD, ADD and are all linked to stress? Since all of them seem to derive from one simple thing which is fear. I don't know if you're religious, but I've examined myself for quite sometime now to determine where all that energy comes from. And I know we're drifting away from medical research slightly, but

The world is always trying to tell you how you should be.

Which causes feelings of inadequacy
Not feeling enough
Which causes depression
Which causes fear and inner turmoil
Which causes over thinking and mental stress
Which could cause anxiety
in my case OCD for perfection
Which causes more Anxiety
Which causes Disassociation with reality
Which causes ADD
Which causes more depression
Which cause many other mental health disorders. This I'm sure of. I think all these mental health disorders are linked to one root cause. Doubt, which is the opposite of faith.

The sin of man was wanting to be God, as the devil wanted to be God. It was self doubt. Trying be as the most high. Now a days that manifests itself as ego, pride, conceit, wanting fame, recognition, anger when we don't get what we want to be better than others. Making us forget we come from the same flesh and bones.

Doctor I know I don't have another response left, but I want to thank you for your responses. I'll consider going back to Paxil. I stopped taking it because it caused me to be heavily tired, but maybe I'll get used to it.