Question: Hi, I need your help about bipolar. My fiancé was diagnosed with bipolar two years ago. She has been on Lamictal (Lamotrigine) for two years and it has been great. in the past two months, She felt nauseous and she got many stomach aches. She thought it was her medication. She stopped taking it for more than a week. She then felt very sad and depressed and she felt that her parents are abusive.

They are strict with her that they want her to study and did now allow her to date many guys. But they are not abusive. So after she felt sad, she broke up with me and she told me that she cannot be in a relationship because of her parents. I respected that and stayed with her. He depression worsened and she started to want to give up on her goals in life like education. We are both studying to become doctors and she stopped caring about life or anything and she dropped her goal to become a doctor.

I’ve known her for three years, she has always been a woman who followed God in her heart and actions. After that happened she stopped doing what she believed is the right thing to do to honor God and now she feels that she has urges like she really wants to get married to run away from her family and just have babies. Then after two weeks she realized that was not realistic so she decided to instead date many random guys because she feels she did not have the attention that she needed when she grew up.

She also has a strong desire to drink alcohol (like 1-2 beers per day) when before she hated alcohol. I know the amount is not much but mixed with lamotrigine so it is usually enough to make her feel drunk and impaired. She feels she has anger but not towards anyone. She never accepted to have sex with me before marriage and we waited for 3 years. Now, even though she broke up with me, she wants to have sex with me while wanting to date other guys at the same time. This all happened since middle of December so in less than two months. Yesterday she downloaded Tinder to date guys when before she hated it and thought that it was for cheap girls.

I do not mind letting her go but i do not feel she is normal or can think straight. I do not want to leave her just because I worry about her safety. I love her a lot but if this is normal for repressed (since her family was a little too strict) girls to go wild then i will let her enjoy her life. But if this is being bipolar and manic then I want to stand by her side and help her even if she feels she does not love me anymore.

She tells me she loves me and that she wants to be my friend. When i talk with her she seems normal but then she cries a lot and she is not happy. She does not care about any of her family anymore or about me and she says that she would not be sad if her dad died. Her psychiatrist put her on a new medication in addition to Lamotrigine. The new one called Olanzapine. She did not take it for two weeks because she felt better relatively like when her family stopped asking her to help them or to go study. She is still very confused i feel in terms what she wants in life and her sexual desires. Yesterday i convinced her to take Olanzapine and see how she feels so she just had half dose and she will continue it for two weeks. Do you think this is all bipolar or her true personality trying to live her life free away from the strict lifestyle that her parents had?

Thank you so much for your answer. I do believe it is her illness that is making her do/think like this but when we do have a conversation about her thoughts/decisions, she says she feels normal (she hides her emotions). But then when I keep asking her questions, she answers me. Today I met her for lunch and she was saying she deep inside feels weird and she feels like she does not care about anything in life. She repeatedly said that if her own mother or father died, she probably will not be dead. She sometimes just ignores what I say. In the beginning of the breakup, i was hurt so i expressed to her my feelings but she did not care at all. Like she is apathetic.

My question now is about her medication. What do you think about her medications now (she is on lamotrigine 100mg & Olanzapine)? She will probably stop Olanzapine sooner than she should because she is very worried about the weight issue and she is very stubborn now. What are the implications of that? Does the person usually think normally & logically after a mania and recover some of their emotions or she will forever feel and think the same way she is now? What is the best way to help a patient feel better? Also does counseling help at this point or she should mainly focus on meds and do counseling later?

Thank you again.
My main concern now is whether the medications she is taking can help her feel better and more normal where she can have emotional connection with her family and me? Or at least not to feel depressed, anxious, have destructive thoughts like dating, making out and sex whether with me or other people.