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What Causes Difficulty In Achieving An Orgasm During Sexual Intercourse?

Posted on Sat, 8 Apr 2017

Question: Hello, my problem is sexual in nature. I have been aroused by virtual media like movies, adult films etc. but have never engaged in an actual sexual act. In our society, we dont have sex before marriage. But now that I am married, when I attempt to have sex with my wife, I am finding it difficult to do so, as I am unable to focus my sexual energies on a real person. I can still get erection and masturbate, but the actual sex is not happening. Can you please advice me on what needs to be done....

Answered by Dr. Prof. Kunal Saha (4 hours later)

Brief Answer:
Wake up!

Detailed Answer:
Thanks for asking on HealthcareMagic.

I have gone carefully through your query and completely understand your concerns. The issue is that you need to come back to reality. The movies that you have been watching, feature professionals. I am quite sure that you have not married a professional porn star. Unless that is the case, you are bound to be disillusioned. Imagine seeing a film fight sequence. Have you ever seen such a fight in real life? Have you ever seen real life people do stuff that you see people do in films? So, learn to distinguish reality from fantasy. You are living in a fantasy world and therefore are unable to focus on real-life situations.

You need to realize that the sexual act might be important, but there is much more to it. The personal sense of attachment and involvement is important. Gentle fondling of each other leads to arousal. This definitely involves deep psychological involvement and you need to invest here. Prolonged foreplay is the key to a good sexual life.

Viagra will not solve your problem. Viagra does not have any role in shaping the mind. Body does not act without the mind.

Feel free to write back.

Regards

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Kampana

Follow up: Dr. Prof. Kunal Saha (9 minutes later)

Thank you for your response. It is very articulated and honestly in the direction I wanted. I have got a sense of the points mentioned. But what I find difficult is to find the direction from where to begin. For instance, when I prepare for a Client meeting I know how to make up my mind. Here I am facing the problem of what mindset should exist before going in. So let's say I want to sit down and think or exercise mind in some manner to get the right mind set, what should that exercising of mind be. I am a little confused with these points. I would really appreciate if there could be some guidance on the general thought process of a healthy mind and how it can be achieved. Thank you...

Answered by Dr. Prof. Kunal Saha (7 minutes later)

Brief Answer:
The power lies within your mind.

Detailed Answer:
It is good to hear back from you. The XXXXXXX system of marriage is based on dedication. I do not know any mind exercises that make you 'dedicated'. You just need to grow that for your wife. You need to understand that she is all you have got. Human beings have endless potentials. She has them and so do you. So, you need to get involved, get attached and need to try to understand each other. You need to learn to respect and value her. It is from here the rest would emanate.

If you still need assistance, it would be a good idea to visit a psychologist. He would be able to analyse your case and offer specific tips that will help you to make your mind up.

Regards

Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Kampana