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What Causes Constant Change Of Mind And Difficulty In Completing Projects?
Question: I enjoy reading, writing, singing, going to the mall, going to the museum, going out to eat with my family, going to amusement parks, going to the movies, watching movies at home, doing arts and crafts, being downtown at night, learning, and traveling.
The fact that it is new is what makes me excited about a new project. I have a hard time staying committed to a project once I have started. In fact, it's actually rare that I finish a project that I start. It has to be a short project, and even then me completing it is up in the air.
In ten years, I would like to own my own home. I would like to live in the Midwest (where I grew up), and I would like to have finally finished a degree program. Maybe English, History, or Theater. I would like to be teaching Junior High or High School. I would also like to be working on my book, because it's always been a dream of mine to write.
The problem is, if you ask me this same question tomorrow, I may have a different answer. Just yesterday I wanted to be a lawyer, living in Manhattan. The week before that I wanted to be a preschool teacher living in Arizona. I can't commit to anything.
The fact that it is new is what makes me excited about a new project. I have a hard time staying committed to a project once I have started. In fact, it's actually rare that I finish a project that I start. It has to be a short project, and even then me completing it is up in the air.
In ten years, I would like to own my own home. I would like to live in the Midwest (where I grew up), and I would like to have finally finished a degree program. Maybe English, History, or Theater. I would like to be teaching Junior High or High School. I would also like to be working on my book, because it's always been a dream of mine to write.
The problem is, if you ask me this same question tomorrow, I may have a different answer. Just yesterday I wanted to be a lawyer, living in Manhattan. The week before that I wanted to be a preschool teacher living in Arizona. I can't commit to anything.
Brief Answer:
Consultation
Detailed Answer:
These are all wonderful skills and interests. Let's think about why you have difficulties completing projects. Can you think of projects you HAVE completed? What made the difference in those cases?
What do you like to write? I think it's wonderful that you're working on a book. What themes are you exploring? What does writing do for you, and what do you like about it? Have you shown anyone else your writing?
You describe having a lot of different ideas about what you want to be. This can be normal, as people have many different dreams. We have to think about what in your life really moves you. What do you feel really special doing? Have you ever engaged in something for long periods of time and thought, wow, I feel really natural and happy doing this? I'm seeing a thread here of an appreciation for the arts -- reading, singing, writing. Is art special for you?
Dr. Sheppe
Consultation
Detailed Answer:
These are all wonderful skills and interests. Let's think about why you have difficulties completing projects. Can you think of projects you HAVE completed? What made the difference in those cases?
What do you like to write? I think it's wonderful that you're working on a book. What themes are you exploring? What does writing do for you, and what do you like about it? Have you shown anyone else your writing?
You describe having a lot of different ideas about what you want to be. This can be normal, as people have many different dreams. We have to think about what in your life really moves you. What do you feel really special doing? Have you ever engaged in something for long periods of time and thought, wow, I feel really natural and happy doing this? I'm seeing a thread here of an appreciation for the arts -- reading, singing, writing. Is art special for you?
Dr. Sheppe
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Sonia Raina
I completed a 12 month screenwriting program about five years ago. Other than that, I can complete crossword puzzles lol. The problem is, my mind is constantly racing a lot of the time. I can't stay focused on one idea, so I have to keep moving. The problem is, I never go back to whatever it was I didn't finish. I think I only finished the screenwriting program because I had a crush on my now husband, and I felt like if I left we wouldn't make it as a couple because he would forget about me.
I love to write music. I can always write a chorus and first verse. Then I get super excited and move on to the next song. I have a computer full of unfinished songs. I want to write teen fiction. I have a lot of good ideas, and some of them even make it to paper, however I always end up moving on to something else before I even scratch the surface. The current book I'm working on is a collection of my diaries. I grew up thinking that mental illness was a made up thing (thanks to my parents), until I realized I suffered from a mental illness. I suffered for five years in silence, and I'm hoping that maybe what I went through can inspire others who may have parents like mine, that made them feel like they were weird, to seek help. If I had been stronger, maybe I wouldn't be in this position now.
For me, writing allows me to pretend I'm someone else. I use it as a way to write out the life I wish I could've had. Every dream that I've ever had for myself I like to write out. I've never shown anyone my writing willingly. My grandmother found my journal once when I was 15 and I had some stories and poems written down. She told me they were beautiful. Sad, but beautiful. That meant a lot to me. I tried to share them with my mom once, but she didn't listen. My dad isn't really artsy, so I've never even thought of sharing with him. I shared a short screenplay once (I just remembered that, so I guess that's another thing I finished, yay) with my husband. He liked it, but he wasn't as excited as I wanted him to be. I thought it was fantastic lol.
I honestly can't think of anything that makes me feel special. When I'm manic, EVERYTHING makes me feel special. I once thought I was going to be a rockstar. I "played" the guitar all day "practicing" to audition for a band. Then I posted ads asking people to join my band. I even had people respond, and I set up auditions and I couldn't even play! It was awful. I ended up selling my guitars once I calmed down. I can't think of anything that makes me feel special when not manic. I guess singing, and reading give me a sort of magical feeling. The problem is I can't think of a career that would allow me to read for a living, and singing is more of a hobby/stress reliever for me. I wouldn't want to do it professionally.
I love the arts! I love theater! I used to be in plays when I was younger. I wouldn't mind maybe being a high school drama teacher. But like I said, don't quote me, because tomorrow it could be something different.
I love to write music. I can always write a chorus and first verse. Then I get super excited and move on to the next song. I have a computer full of unfinished songs. I want to write teen fiction. I have a lot of good ideas, and some of them even make it to paper, however I always end up moving on to something else before I even scratch the surface. The current book I'm working on is a collection of my diaries. I grew up thinking that mental illness was a made up thing (thanks to my parents), until I realized I suffered from a mental illness. I suffered for five years in silence, and I'm hoping that maybe what I went through can inspire others who may have parents like mine, that made them feel like they were weird, to seek help. If I had been stronger, maybe I wouldn't be in this position now.
For me, writing allows me to pretend I'm someone else. I use it as a way to write out the life I wish I could've had. Every dream that I've ever had for myself I like to write out. I've never shown anyone my writing willingly. My grandmother found my journal once when I was 15 and I had some stories and poems written down. She told me they were beautiful. Sad, but beautiful. That meant a lot to me. I tried to share them with my mom once, but she didn't listen. My dad isn't really artsy, so I've never even thought of sharing with him. I shared a short screenplay once (I just remembered that, so I guess that's another thing I finished, yay) with my husband. He liked it, but he wasn't as excited as I wanted him to be. I thought it was fantastic lol.
I honestly can't think of anything that makes me feel special. When I'm manic, EVERYTHING makes me feel special. I once thought I was going to be a rockstar. I "played" the guitar all day "practicing" to audition for a band. Then I posted ads asking people to join my band. I even had people respond, and I set up auditions and I couldn't even play! It was awful. I ended up selling my guitars once I calmed down. I can't think of anything that makes me feel special when not manic. I guess singing, and reading give me a sort of magical feeling. The problem is I can't think of a career that would allow me to read for a living, and singing is more of a hobby/stress reliever for me. I wouldn't want to do it professionally.
I love the arts! I love theater! I used to be in plays when I was younger. I wouldn't mind maybe being a high school drama teacher. But like I said, don't quote me, because tomorrow it could be something different.
Brief Answer:
Followup
Detailed Answer:
This is wonderful information. Keep up the good work.
First, I think a lot of this indecisiveness will improve greatly with medication. This is just one more reason why a mood stabilizer is important for you. And medication will certainly vastly decrease your risk of having a manic episode such as you describe with the guitars and the rock band. So that will certainly improve in the future.
I'm hearing a couple things here that I think are really and truly valuable to you when you are at your best. First, you have a talent for and appreciation of the arts. Second, you want to be able to help others, possibly through teaching. I think these may be your passions and the things you can really start to develop.
Singing, writing, and reading are all wonderful interests. And you have certainly been through a lot in life from which to draw from. Your idea about using your experience of mental illness to help others is a wonderful idea. It would take a negative thing and turn it into a positive experience. Have you thought about volunteering in a hospital or with other organizations such as NAMI? Being a peer educator about bipolar disorder or BPD, perhaps? There is a great need for this, and it would give you some structure and purpose.
Taking your reading/writing skills and using those to teach kids/teenagers is a noble goal. Have you thought about volunteering in a school? This would again give you structure and help you develop these interests.
Have you spoken with your husband about planning some activities this week?
Dr. Sheppe
Followup
Detailed Answer:
This is wonderful information. Keep up the good work.
First, I think a lot of this indecisiveness will improve greatly with medication. This is just one more reason why a mood stabilizer is important for you. And medication will certainly vastly decrease your risk of having a manic episode such as you describe with the guitars and the rock band. So that will certainly improve in the future.
I'm hearing a couple things here that I think are really and truly valuable to you when you are at your best. First, you have a talent for and appreciation of the arts. Second, you want to be able to help others, possibly through teaching. I think these may be your passions and the things you can really start to develop.
Singing, writing, and reading are all wonderful interests. And you have certainly been through a lot in life from which to draw from. Your idea about using your experience of mental illness to help others is a wonderful idea. It would take a negative thing and turn it into a positive experience. Have you thought about volunteering in a hospital or with other organizations such as NAMI? Being a peer educator about bipolar disorder or BPD, perhaps? There is a great need for this, and it would give you some structure and purpose.
Taking your reading/writing skills and using those to teach kids/teenagers is a noble goal. Have you thought about volunteering in a school? This would again give you structure and help you develop these interests.
Have you spoken with your husband about planning some activities this week?
Dr. Sheppe
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Arnab Banerjee
A couple of years ago I thought about volunteering at a hospital. I'm not sure what happened though. I suppose I probably didn't follow through. I would love to be a peer educator, but I'm not sure how I would go about doing that. I'm also not sure how to go about volunteering in a school, but I would definitely be interested. I volunteered at a daycare once for high school credit. I had a lot of fun.
We discussed planning a few outings next week to the Aquarium and the Zoo because neither of us have been since we moved here. I am also trying to work the museum in, but we'll see.
I'm really struggling regarding what to do about my relationship with my parents. Everytime I think I'm strong enough to deal, I go around them and instantly feel like a little kid that needs their approval again. I feel like I need to lie to them to make myself sound better.
How can I differentiate between mania and a really good mood? I fear that I may be approaching hypomania or the beginning of full-blown mania. My cousin is coming to visit for Thanksgiving, and I'm already planning to get tattoos, piercings, get drunk, and I'm even thinking about shaving my head to do something different. I am trying to calm myself down by telling myself that these things aren't necessary, but I have no idea whether or not I'm going to listen to my rational self once she gets here.
We discussed planning a few outings next week to the Aquarium and the Zoo because neither of us have been since we moved here. I am also trying to work the museum in, but we'll see.
I'm really struggling regarding what to do about my relationship with my parents. Everytime I think I'm strong enough to deal, I go around them and instantly feel like a little kid that needs their approval again. I feel like I need to lie to them to make myself sound better.
How can I differentiate between mania and a really good mood? I fear that I may be approaching hypomania or the beginning of full-blown mania. My cousin is coming to visit for Thanksgiving, and I'm already planning to get tattoos, piercings, get drunk, and I'm even thinking about shaving my head to do something different. I am trying to calm myself down by telling myself that these things aren't necessary, but I have no idea whether or not I'm going to listen to my rational self once she gets here.
Brief Answer:
Followup
Detailed Answer:
Go to NAMI's website:
https://www XXXXXXX org/
Navigate through it, and look for peer education or other volunteer opportunities in your area. This is a great way to get involved and use your experience to help people with similar problems who live around you.
Similarly, simply look around for high schools in your area, and give them a call and ask them about volunteer opportunities. It can be a bit anxiety-inducing, but all you have to do is pick up the phone, dial, and ask. You'll be pleasantly surprised how many opportunities there are.
It's great you and your husband have started a dialogue about making plans. This will bring you two together and give you something to do. The aquarium and zoo sound like great ideas.
Regarding your parents, I really recommend taking a break. When you feel the urge to call them and run to them for refuge, sit down and do a DBT worksheet. Find some other distraction or way to engage your mind. I think we've determined together that they are more a force for harm than good right now.
It can be difficult to differentiate between mania and a good mood on your own. This is why you need a psychiatrist to talk to (like me), and also your husband should help you monitor your mood. The things you are describing -- wanting to get drunk, get tattoos, shave your head -- these are manic ideas. You need to engage, as you say, your rational self, and realize these are extremes. You should sit down and talk with your husband and cousin about this, and tell them that if you get out of control, they need to stop you. If you are unable to control yourself, or your behavior gets out of control, you need to call an ambulance and go to the hospital immediately. You don't want to spiral out of control. I strongly recommend staying away from alcohol during Thanksgiving, as alcohol can precipitate a manic episode.
Let's work on an action plan for this Thanksgiving. Tell me when you can get your husband and cousin together and talk to them about watching you for manic symptoms. If things get out of control, what are you going to do? And looking ahead, let's make concrete goals. I want you to arrange for at least one concrete and specific volunteer opportunity for next week, and to finalize plans for visiting the aquarium and/or zoo with your husband next week. Having specific plans and goals in place is very important.
Dr. Sheppe
Followup
Detailed Answer:
Go to NAMI's website:
https://www XXXXXXX org/
Navigate through it, and look for peer education or other volunteer opportunities in your area. This is a great way to get involved and use your experience to help people with similar problems who live around you.
Similarly, simply look around for high schools in your area, and give them a call and ask them about volunteer opportunities. It can be a bit anxiety-inducing, but all you have to do is pick up the phone, dial, and ask. You'll be pleasantly surprised how many opportunities there are.
It's great you and your husband have started a dialogue about making plans. This will bring you two together and give you something to do. The aquarium and zoo sound like great ideas.
Regarding your parents, I really recommend taking a break. When you feel the urge to call them and run to them for refuge, sit down and do a DBT worksheet. Find some other distraction or way to engage your mind. I think we've determined together that they are more a force for harm than good right now.
It can be difficult to differentiate between mania and a good mood on your own. This is why you need a psychiatrist to talk to (like me), and also your husband should help you monitor your mood. The things you are describing -- wanting to get drunk, get tattoos, shave your head -- these are manic ideas. You need to engage, as you say, your rational self, and realize these are extremes. You should sit down and talk with your husband and cousin about this, and tell them that if you get out of control, they need to stop you. If you are unable to control yourself, or your behavior gets out of control, you need to call an ambulance and go to the hospital immediately. You don't want to spiral out of control. I strongly recommend staying away from alcohol during Thanksgiving, as alcohol can precipitate a manic episode.
Let's work on an action plan for this Thanksgiving. Tell me when you can get your husband and cousin together and talk to them about watching you for manic symptoms. If things get out of control, what are you going to do? And looking ahead, let's make concrete goals. I want you to arrange for at least one concrete and specific volunteer opportunity for next week, and to finalize plans for visiting the aquarium and/or zoo with your husband next week. Having specific plans and goals in place is very important.
Dr. Sheppe
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Arnab Banerjee
I'm a bit upset with my husband right now. I'm trying to discuss a plan for Thanksgiving with him, because I know I'm going to be hard to control and I don't know if he's frustrated or what, because he told me that I need to "just grow up already." I'm tired of him acting like it's something that I can just grow out of. He has said this before, and although he is generally supportive, when he gets like this it frustrates me. I didn't ask to be like this, and I can't just "grow up already." It's times like this where I just feel so all alone and it's pretty depressing.
Will I have to deal with BPAD1 and BPD my entire life? Is there hope that maybe one day I will be okay? Or maybe is it possible that I have some other disorder that just mimics these two? I just want to be normal...
Will I have to deal with BPAD1 and BPD my entire life? Is there hope that maybe one day I will be okay? Or maybe is it possible that I have some other disorder that just mimics these two? I just want to be normal...
Brief Answer:
Followup
Detailed Answer:
You're right that your husband probably should not have said that. It sometimes helps in these situations to try and put yourself in his shoes. He's probably frustrated because he also didn't ask for you to be like this and has to deal with the stress of it as well. It doesn't justify him being dismissive to you, but if you try to empathize with him, you'll feel better about the situation. You aren't alone, he clearly loves you, he can just get frustrated sometimes.
You will have to deal with these illnesses your whole life, yes. But with medication and therapy, you can live a normal life. It won't be easy, but with help you can do it!
Close and rate this thread and open up a new one, and answer some of the questions I asked in my previous post.
Followup
Detailed Answer:
You're right that your husband probably should not have said that. It sometimes helps in these situations to try and put yourself in his shoes. He's probably frustrated because he also didn't ask for you to be like this and has to deal with the stress of it as well. It doesn't justify him being dismissive to you, but if you try to empathize with him, you'll feel better about the situation. You aren't alone, he clearly loves you, he can just get frustrated sometimes.
You will have to deal with these illnesses your whole life, yes. But with medication and therapy, you can live a normal life. It won't be easy, but with help you can do it!
Close and rate this thread and open up a new one, and answer some of the questions I asked in my previous post.
Note: For further follow up on related General & Family Physician Click here.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Arnab Banerjee
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