Question: So I have no Lung Disease, I have no COPD. I Have GAD/Panic/Stress, the overstimulation is creating a fig newton in my imagination that my lungs cant expand anymore. That like pavlovs dog, I have repeated a stimulus so often that the thought triggers the response of breathing problems. That age brings changes in breathing, and walking up stairs only 4 -8 times a day is not exercise to condition the body enough to become fit and not get winded.

That all sound Correct. Oh and when I relax, it is to go away.

So what you think of the Stupid Bowl Game.

I bought a new Bass about a Month ago, I sold an old one to have the funds to get the new one. I had it shipped to my home in South XXXXXXX I will not see it until I make the big move back. This requires the confrontation about the divorce. Ewwwe.
Anyway, I cant wait to try it out, I think I am like a kid waiting to open his xmas presents. Music is my passion outside of work. I guess its sometimes more important than companion relationships. When playing, I can let myself go into a new world developed by my imagination along with the imagination of others I am playing along side. I can/will play Classic Rock, Hard Rock of the 70's, Adult Alternative Rock, Jazz (YEAH BABY), blues, swing, R&B, Country when I have to, and classical. NO rap, Polka, speed metal, thrash metal. outrageous punk music. I grew up in a house of old swing and jazz music lovers. They were also Ballroom Dancers and Square Dancers. I am a Klutz on Peg Legs, Two Lefts and nothing goes right. I just play, no singing, Mass exodus would occur if I opened my mouth.
Started playing at 14. It was intended to get the attention of girls--too bashful to talk to them. Once I figured it out, it was more important than girls. now 42 years later, I'm still hooked on it.
I bought my first Bass by earning money delivering newspapers, $65.00, 2 years later I bought my second bass for $100.00, part of a package deal that I spent $200 total on. A Fender Precision Bass that I had a Fretless neck put on back in 1976 I still have that bass and today its estimated value is around 2,000.00

Played my first real performance at a High School Dance in November of 1976. Remember it like it was yesterday. I remember the Pep Talk the band had before we played. The conversation was how to overcome stage fright if we had it. We all said no but I know we all had anxiety that night. It was there as we opened but left around the third song. We opened with Born To Run XXXXXXX Springsteen then The Boys Are Back In Town, Thin Lizzy.

I have an uncanny memory of music.

Oh well thats something to talk of.

I wasn,t aware that I had not mentioned that I am a musician. I started at 14 and am 56. I was 17 when I played my first gig. I went on stage with butterflies in my stomach, anti perspiration gone by 2nd song. Was shaking at the knees thinking I would pass out. Kept my eyes on my fretboard to distract looking at the crowd. This was for the first few songs. Then I looked up occasionally. To keep from fainting, I walked around keeping close to my spot on stage. Would turn to look at fellow band mates to calm myself. Every show still has a bit of apprehension but fades rapidly, about 5 notes into first song. That night is burned in my memory. 95% good 5 embarrassing. The 5 was just what I wore on stage that night I was conned into wearing farmers overalls. Not cool when all the rest were fancy dressed

Today I am usually in black with a black beret or tam style hat. Signature style I guess.

Yes I use music to calm but since I moved to this home there is no special room that I can use to rehearse in and nearest band to jam with is 30 miles away so it isn't that often as it used to be

So with three photos you have 1976, 2015 and the new bass. The new bass is sitting in Sioux Falls. It's been there for 4 weeks.

I have been using music as therapy for years. I am in XXXXXXX Nebraska area right now. I was playing country up until New Year's Eve. Now I am joining a group of musicians to play R & B until I moved back home

I have to admit that I am on edge about putting the divorce in play. I am trying to have things in order before in ask. I want a job lined up, personal belongings ready to go ( I have a storage unit that I have my personal goods in) they are boxed Anyway I am not a person that likes conflict nor do I care to hurt someone. I also realize that it will have to be done, clean and that not doing it is just hurting me more.

The divorce is a bit complicated and not. The divorce will be my third the first two divorced me, this time I will divorce her. In the complete picture, the divorce is more issues of myself tha her. I came to an understanding that marriage is not something that I was meant for. I have to say that I enjoy a body around. Not for sex, not for conversations just company. My wife has mentioned that we are more like roommates than husband and wife. I have to agree with that. She has mentioned that it takes a crowbar to get me to open up and talk. She's right but I guess I do not feel I have much to say and that nothing seems that important. I do talk just not about feelings or issues or problems. I have had this in all relationships so it is not new. There are issues with the step kids that even if I spoke about it, it would not change. The kids are hers and her ex. They share custody biweekly visits 7 days here. 7 days there. Anyway the kids are set in their ways and habits. I have agreed from beginning that the parents are raising them and I would back her decisions. The issue is that when basic consideration is expected and confronted, no backing up of me or support is given to me. Change is not one of my strongpoints. I made a big change to move away from my home, a good job and my family and friends just for her. in the big picture I'm not happy pretending and I'm tired of no social friends
There are other issues at play but as I said it is me as the key problem. I am selfish, stubborn and at my age happier in my set ways than if I bent further to change This marriage pushes the bounds of my nerves and anxiety I have realized that I am happier being single than when I am married. I am fortunate in that my relationships with my two prior wives are healthy now and we are better friends than spouses. Again I am better on my own. I hope to be the same with this ex.

You ask how important feeling? That's both anxious/nerve wracking and on the other hand exciting. The anxiety is all that comes with leaving and the pain it brings. The excitement is the feeling I get as I realize that once I am away and when I return to being single I am healthier in my life relaxed.

I'm sure I've left many open ends to this and many confused reasons but overall, being single is better for me and she is better off as my friend than as a worthless spouse worthless as in not the type that is husband material.

Did you get my new thread, I sent it off a day ago. I wonder if hcm is holding up. Limiting my messages again. All I have done this month is our texts and one to a pulminologist which was a previous thread

This was what I sent. I will try the other links too but here is what I sent.

New thread with two parts.
I was thinking up a strange pulmonary question, maybe you have an answer. Mom had air/gas trapping with her emphysema. Can a person with mild/moderate/severe trapping force/push any of this out. I can think back to when I was a child how i would push as much air out of my lungs after I exhaled normally. Are sufferers unable to push any out?

Back to our prior conversation. To answer your question,I actually have high regards to what I think or wish to say. I just get to the point at the end of a long hard day that I care less to rehash what i have done. I care less to tell others that my boss did this to me, that someone else did that to me. I have come to the realization that I listen, I learn, I read, I ask questions before I open my mouth and stick my foot in. I said I am selfish, yes I have acquired a trait or habit over the years that when I work hard for something such as an income, i will pay what is necessary but do not try to spend my hard work on something I do not agree with. On the flip side, I love enjoy gifting to others. So I like giving and doting on others because I choose what to do, But in the household setting i get stingy when my money is spent by others, not always to what I find necessary. I admit that is one sided but hey thats me.
In Friend relationships I also have no issues but again I listen more than I speak. I have high regard of myself. I too enjoy giving in friend relationships.

I just like the single lifestyle because I do not have to worry about whom I may not make happy in ways that I probably should but do not care to .
Asked by Me , 22 hours ago

One more thought.

To remain positive and not focus on lung problems such as COPD, I will then look at the Pulmonologists last comment that I could have mild Asthma. I know that Stress/Panic/Anxiety can cause both mental and somewhat physical symptoms of breathing difficulties. Note i included mental or thoughts of. What I heard from medical reports is that stress can cause inflammation to soft muscle tissue airways causing constriction to air flow both in and out. Is this true.

This is what i got as an answer this morning. and you are the only one i am talking to. So I will keep this thread going for now

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