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What Can Be Done To Overcome My Wife's Disinterest In Sex ?

Posted on Tue, 8 May 2012

Question: Hi, I am XXXXXXX 28 yrs, my query is related with having sex. when ever i try to have sex, my wife (age 21) shows lack of interest to it as if she doesn't like having sex, what could be the reason for this and whom should i consult? Now my wife is 4 months pregnant and i know during pregnancy time women will have such lack of interests, but my worry is not during this time, i felt her disinterest even before getting pregnant. Please advise me the reason and a succesful remedy for it.

Answered by Dr. Minoo Bhagia (19 hours later)

Hello ,

Thanks for your query.

There can be various causes for lack of interest in sex.
Change in the environment , difficulty in coping up with in-laws can be one of them.
Anaemia , thyroid disorder , hormonal imbalanaces like high levels of prolactin can also cause lack of sex drive.
Psychological causes like depression is the most important cause.
There can be local causes like vaginal dryness or dyspareunia (pain during intercourse )
Regarding sex during pregnancy , lot of women lack interest during this period as there are mood changes due to hormones and in their mind there is responsibility of taking care of the new born and fear of labour pains.
This is a very common problem and has to be treated very gently.
You can take her in confidence and talk about her childhood , whether she was unhappy or in pain and suffering and what was the cause.
There are vaginal creams and hormones to increase the libido but they will not remove the root cause.
Change the environment , when you get time you can take her to a vacation.
Give her iron and vitamin supplements.
She should be more active and doing exercises especially exercises of the pelvic floor muscles.
The problem will be solved with time , all she requires is tender loving care .
Wishing both of you a very happy married life.
Best regards

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Raju A.T

Follow up: Dr. Minoo Bhagia (6 hours later)

Hello Doctor,

Thank you for your valuable advice. With reference to the above, I am sure change in the environment and coping with in-laws can't be the reason as she is very much happy with in-laws, but i have no ideas about other possible reasons which you have mentioned above like Anaemia , thyroid disorder , hormonal imbalanaces like high levels of prolactin etc, etc... Could you please advise which specialist doctor I should consult (like whether it should be a urologist, sexologist, psycology etc) who can give me the exact reason for my problem and give a successful remedy so that i can XXXXXXX him/her personally. Your valuable advise will be a great help for me in this regard.
Thanking you and awaiting your favorable reply...

Answered by Dr. Minoo Bhagia (3 hours later)

Hello,

Thanks for the follow up.

She can get a complete check up from an experienced General Physician, who after complete examination would advise you for certain investigations according to the findings and depending on the reports might suggest to a particular specialist or treat her on his own.

Lack of sleep, fatigue, stress are the main factors which can cause loss of libido.

For antenatal check ups you must be visiting a Gynecologist, so you can tell her about this and she can do her counseling.

Hope this answers your query.

Wishing her a good health.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Ashwin Bhandari

Follow up: Dr. Minoo Bhagia (25 hours later)

Hi Doctor,

Thanks for your valuable advice. One last query, is there anything that me or we can do by ourselves to improve or to have a change to this situation? Could you please advise if there is any good doctor in any of the hospitals here in dubai whom you know who may be your colleague or a good friend with whom we can consult with for our problem?

Your valuable suggestion will be a great help in this regard
Thanking you and wishing you all the very best...

Answered by Dr. Minoo Bhagia (11 hours later)

Hello again,

There are sex therapist and counsellors but you will have to work out on your own.

There are lubricants and gels in the market but I don't recommend them.

As your wife is pregnant let her deliver the baby normally then we will think about this matter.

There are very good gynaecologists in Dubai.

There are reviews written by our users about doctors in our listing, those can guide you for a better doctor.

You can search for a doctor in your area at WWW.WWWW.WW
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Regards,

Note: Revert back with your gynae reports to get a clear medical analysis by our expert Gynecologic Oncologist. Click here.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Shanthi.E