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Suggest Ways To Deal With A Broken And Emotional Abusive Relationship

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Posted on Mon, 28 Sep 2015
Question: Hello, I'm wondering if I am in an emotionally abusive relationship... Me and my boyfriend are for the most part happy, except when he drinks he lashes out at me.. He brings up my past and says I'm disgusting even though he knows it already bothers me (I've been cheated on). He curses at me and has called me a few names. He asks how many people I've slept with. He gets mad at me for dreams that he has had about me cheating on him, and constantly reminds me that he finds out I'm cheating he will leave me lonely. He makes jokes about me and laughs, and tells me to stop being so sensitive. It's next to impossible to tell him to stop because he's drunk and if I end the conversation I get accused of ignoring him and he gets even more angry. And then we he wakes up and sobers up and apologizes and admits being wrong in what he said. When he is sober he acts like there is nothing wrong and even says he's over issues, but then brings them up again when he drinks. Could this behavior escalate and Is there any way this issue can be resolved? Thank You.
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Answered by Dr. Sassen S Kwasa (13 minutes later)
Brief Answer:
This could escalate and this is an unhealthy relationship.

Detailed Answer:
Welcome to HCM.

I am sorry to hear about the emotional and abuse. remember that there is a very thin line between emotional abuse and physical abuse. I always tell my patients that being drunk and alcohol is never an excuse to allow others to do what they want otherwise all those that commit crimes on earth would walk away free and plead "drunk". My advise is that this has got to a very bad point that I do not honestly see things changing, he is insecure and has not grown up obviously. If you still want to try things out you will need the help of a relationship expert/counselor, but guess what, I bet that he refuses to go since he does not have a problem right? Anyway this is how many women are subjected to years of abuse and never leave, I have seen women waste their life before taking any help from outside and the emotional damage will be noticeable years to come.

Take charge and control your life, other women depend on your actions. I hope this helps and good luck.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Vaishalee Punj
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Answered by
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Dr. Sassen S Kwasa

Internal Medicine Specialist

Practicing since :2012

Answered : 502 Questions

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Suggest Ways To Deal With A Broken And Emotional Abusive Relationship

Brief Answer: This could escalate and this is an unhealthy relationship. Detailed Answer: Welcome to HCM. I am sorry to hear about the emotional and abuse. remember that there is a very thin line between emotional abuse and physical abuse. I always tell my patients that being drunk and alcohol is never an excuse to allow others to do what they want otherwise all those that commit crimes on earth would walk away free and plead "drunk". My advise is that this has got to a very bad point that I do not honestly see things changing, he is insecure and has not grown up obviously. If you still want to try things out you will need the help of a relationship expert/counselor, but guess what, I bet that he refuses to go since he does not have a problem right? Anyway this is how many women are subjected to years of abuse and never leave, I have seen women waste their life before taking any help from outside and the emotional damage will be noticeable years to come. Take charge and control your life, other women depend on your actions. I hope this helps and good luck.