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Suggest Treatment For Manic Depression
Question: I'm a pretty simple person. One thing I love to do is go to the mall. When I'm not manic, I don't need to buy anything. I just love being out and around people. I love to window shop. Especially around the holidays. My husband doesn't like to though, because he is afraid it will trigger me.
I also love to go to museums. I grew up in XXXXXXX and when I was a little girl I used to love going to the museum, the aquarium, Brookfield Zoo, and the library. I would actually love to do that stuff now. I just don't get out much on my own anymore ever since I lost my license. I have to depend on my husband, and he is busy quite a bit.
When I was in high school I volunteered in a XXXXXXX Citizen home and I loved it. I would be in charge of Bingo, and all the other entertainment plans. I went every Saturday for school credit, and I still went after I had already earned the credit. I would be interested in volunteering again.
My husband is also interested in the museum, zoo, etc. I'm sure we could plan a few outings a week. I know he would appreciate getting out of the house.
I haven't been following a strict guideline, but I'm currently focusing on mindfulness. I've been doing breathing exercises, and I've been working on observing which is proving to be pretty hard for me. I can't focus long enough to fully observe an object. I find my mind wandering off.By the way, I really appreciate you taking the time to help me. I'm really committed to getting better this time. These past five years have been awful, and I never want to live this way again.
I also love to go to museums. I grew up in XXXXXXX and when I was a little girl I used to love going to the museum, the aquarium, Brookfield Zoo, and the library. I would actually love to do that stuff now. I just don't get out much on my own anymore ever since I lost my license. I have to depend on my husband, and he is busy quite a bit.
When I was in high school I volunteered in a XXXXXXX Citizen home and I loved it. I would be in charge of Bingo, and all the other entertainment plans. I went every Saturday for school credit, and I still went after I had already earned the credit. I would be interested in volunteering again.
My husband is also interested in the museum, zoo, etc. I'm sure we could plan a few outings a week. I know he would appreciate getting out of the house.
I haven't been following a strict guideline, but I'm currently focusing on mindfulness. I've been doing breathing exercises, and I've been working on observing which is proving to be pretty hard for me. I can't focus long enough to fully observe an object. I find my mind wandering off.By the way, I really appreciate you taking the time to help me. I'm really committed to getting better this time. These past five years have been awful, and I never want to live this way again.
Brief Answer:
Consultation
Detailed Answer:
It's nice to learn more about you. I think we have several ideas here for how you could add structure to your day.
I have a couple things I want you to do. First, have a discussion with your husband about doing a couple things a week together outside the home. This can be a museum, zoo, dinner, anything you would like to do together. Come up and schedule a couple things together and let me know what they are and when you'll be doing them. I think this will help you two reconnect, and also lend some structure to your week.
Second, I want you to research a volunteer opportunity in your area and make a phone call to set up a volunteer experience. It can just be once if you'd like, just to see if you like it. It sounds like you really enjoyed the XXXXXXX citizens home, so I think this would be a great place to start looking. I think we need to find something to get you out of the house around other people and engage your mind.
Mindfulness exercises are wonderful. I think I can help your occasional lack of focus by really encouraging you to stick to a plan. Let's make it such that you need to complete at least one worksheet a day, and each day tell me about the worksheet, what you found helpful about it, what you found not so helpful, and any questions that arose while you were completing it.
I think these are a few specific steps we can take together to add structure to your day, to give you some meaning and something to do, to improve your relationship with your husband, and to get your mind focused on DBT skills while you're waiting to see a doctor for medication.
What questions do you have about these assignments? Do they sound reasonable and do-able for you?
It's my pleasure to work with you. You're going through a lot, but I can tell you're really motivated to take matters into your own hands and try your best to fight these illnesses.
Dr. Sheppe
P.S. As a side note, make sure to rate and close our previous threads! Thanks.
Consultation
Detailed Answer:
It's nice to learn more about you. I think we have several ideas here for how you could add structure to your day.
I have a couple things I want you to do. First, have a discussion with your husband about doing a couple things a week together outside the home. This can be a museum, zoo, dinner, anything you would like to do together. Come up and schedule a couple things together and let me know what they are and when you'll be doing them. I think this will help you two reconnect, and also lend some structure to your week.
Second, I want you to research a volunteer opportunity in your area and make a phone call to set up a volunteer experience. It can just be once if you'd like, just to see if you like it. It sounds like you really enjoyed the XXXXXXX citizens home, so I think this would be a great place to start looking. I think we need to find something to get you out of the house around other people and engage your mind.
Mindfulness exercises are wonderful. I think I can help your occasional lack of focus by really encouraging you to stick to a plan. Let's make it such that you need to complete at least one worksheet a day, and each day tell me about the worksheet, what you found helpful about it, what you found not so helpful, and any questions that arose while you were completing it.
I think these are a few specific steps we can take together to add structure to your day, to give you some meaning and something to do, to improve your relationship with your husband, and to get your mind focused on DBT skills while you're waiting to see a doctor for medication.
What questions do you have about these assignments? Do they sound reasonable and do-able for you?
It's my pleasure to work with you. You're going through a lot, but I can tell you're really motivated to take matters into your own hands and try your best to fight these illnesses.
Dr. Sheppe
P.S. As a side note, make sure to rate and close our previous threads! Thanks.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Prasad
So far I do not have any questions. It is all reasonable as well as do-able. Should any questions arise, I will not hesitate to ask them. I will discuss things with my husband, then we will create a schedule and I will share that with you. I will also discuss the worksheets with you, which I am excited to do. I frequently have questions when completing the worksheets, so I'm looking forward to actually being able to ask someone.
Brief Answer:
Followup
Detailed Answer:
Wonderful, I'm glad to hear it. Check in with me later today (Monday evening) and we'll see what you've come up with. I'm always here for questions in the meantime!
Dr. Sheppe
Followup
Detailed Answer:
Wonderful, I'm glad to hear it. Check in with me later today (Monday evening) and we'll see what you've come up with. I'm always here for questions in the meantime!
Dr. Sheppe
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Prasad
My husband hasn't had time to sit down and work on the schedule yet, but here was my worksheet for today:
Activity – Describe a situation in which you became angry. Write down what you remember about that event.
What made you feel angry? How did you react? Who made you feel angry? What were you thinking when you became angry?
• I was really angry this past weekend when I heard that my sister thought that my husband and I were living off of her (through my parents since my parents work for her, and they have helped me financially). Apparently she told my mother that my husband wasn't a man because instead of working he was going to school, taking care of the house and kids, and leaving me to work outside the home. She also told my mother that she felt like my husband was trying to use me to get to her company which is odd, because he doesn't even like her really.
•My immediate reaction was anger towards my mother and sister, then it turned to sadness because of the harsh judgment, so I cried. My mother rolled her eyes and started to become irritated that I was getting emotional, so then the anger returned and I let her have it. I told her that whether she liked it or not, I have mental health issues and that I was working on myself. She doesn't have to believe it, and quite frankly I don't care if she believes it or not. Instead of judging my relationship with my husband, how about instead she try to understand why it is the way it is. I told her that instead of blaming my husband, how about she try to understand how hard it might be for him to have to deal with someone like me. Instead of her making excuses for why my sister feels the way she does, why not take a step back and think about the fact that I probably have ill feelings toward her too, however it's not my job to go around telling them to everybody. If it isn't honest, kind, or necessary then don't share it with me.
•When I initially became angry, the first thing that went through my head was how I had given up so much for her to achieve her dream. I gave up high school, I gave up some of my writing publishing so that she could have it (my mom actually made me do it multiple times) to give her credibility. I thought about how neither one of my parents had every tried to help me develop a career the way they helped her. Then I thought about how sad it was that the whole time my mother went off to NY to be with my sister, all they did was talk about me and how awful my life is. You would think that a mother and daughter would have something else to talk about.
Now check your beliefs – what did you tell yourself about the situation?
• I told myself that they were all against me. I told myself that I was being attacked, and that I had to attack back with the truth. I had to show them who I really was and let them know what was really going on, and if they still felt the way that they did, then that was on them, because I did my part.
What were the consequences that emerged from your reactions?
Check your emotional and behavioral response – Describe your feeling of upset. Describe what you did because you were angry?
• I think I walked away from the situation triumphantly. My dad seemed as if he understood where I was coming from, or at least he was going to try to understand. My mother started off seeming annoyed, and every time I tried to explain how I felt, she felt the need to bring my sister into things, which was a bit ridiculous in my opinion, because we weren't talking about her. I was trying to tell her about my symptoms and how they caused me to behave, and she would say, "So what, your sister does that too, and she's fine." After awhile I just accepted the fact that she wasn't going to get it, and that's okay. Instead of listening she wanted to argue. Instead of accepting me, she wanted to blame. I am finally okay with it. She may never accept me the way I would like her to, and I am fine with that, because she is missing out. Not me!
Dispute – question your angry thoughts – expectations, disappointments. Now ask, is there a different way that you could have looked at the situation?
• Instead of letting my mother's comments upset me initially, I wish I would've remained calm. I am still happy with the result I achieved, but I believe I could've made even more of an impact if I had remained calm and not let my emotions get the best of me.
Effect – Write down what you would like to see happen. What can you change and what can you accept?
• I would like to get better at accepting that everybody has their own opinions, and they don't effect me. I recovered nicely, but I wish I could have been calm from the beginning. My mother perceives tears as weakness, so in the future I would like to avoid sharing my emotional side with her, especially if she is going to laugh or mock me.
Activity – Describe a situation in which you became angry. Write down what you remember about that event.
What made you feel angry? How did you react? Who made you feel angry? What were you thinking when you became angry?
• I was really angry this past weekend when I heard that my sister thought that my husband and I were living off of her (through my parents since my parents work for her, and they have helped me financially). Apparently she told my mother that my husband wasn't a man because instead of working he was going to school, taking care of the house and kids, and leaving me to work outside the home. She also told my mother that she felt like my husband was trying to use me to get to her company which is odd, because he doesn't even like her really.
•My immediate reaction was anger towards my mother and sister, then it turned to sadness because of the harsh judgment, so I cried. My mother rolled her eyes and started to become irritated that I was getting emotional, so then the anger returned and I let her have it. I told her that whether she liked it or not, I have mental health issues and that I was working on myself. She doesn't have to believe it, and quite frankly I don't care if she believes it or not. Instead of judging my relationship with my husband, how about instead she try to understand why it is the way it is. I told her that instead of blaming my husband, how about she try to understand how hard it might be for him to have to deal with someone like me. Instead of her making excuses for why my sister feels the way she does, why not take a step back and think about the fact that I probably have ill feelings toward her too, however it's not my job to go around telling them to everybody. If it isn't honest, kind, or necessary then don't share it with me.
•When I initially became angry, the first thing that went through my head was how I had given up so much for her to achieve her dream. I gave up high school, I gave up some of my writing publishing so that she could have it (my mom actually made me do it multiple times) to give her credibility. I thought about how neither one of my parents had every tried to help me develop a career the way they helped her. Then I thought about how sad it was that the whole time my mother went off to NY to be with my sister, all they did was talk about me and how awful my life is. You would think that a mother and daughter would have something else to talk about.
Now check your beliefs – what did you tell yourself about the situation?
• I told myself that they were all against me. I told myself that I was being attacked, and that I had to attack back with the truth. I had to show them who I really was and let them know what was really going on, and if they still felt the way that they did, then that was on them, because I did my part.
What were the consequences that emerged from your reactions?
Check your emotional and behavioral response – Describe your feeling of upset. Describe what you did because you were angry?
• I think I walked away from the situation triumphantly. My dad seemed as if he understood where I was coming from, or at least he was going to try to understand. My mother started off seeming annoyed, and every time I tried to explain how I felt, she felt the need to bring my sister into things, which was a bit ridiculous in my opinion, because we weren't talking about her. I was trying to tell her about my symptoms and how they caused me to behave, and she would say, "So what, your sister does that too, and she's fine." After awhile I just accepted the fact that she wasn't going to get it, and that's okay. Instead of listening she wanted to argue. Instead of accepting me, she wanted to blame. I am finally okay with it. She may never accept me the way I would like her to, and I am fine with that, because she is missing out. Not me!
Dispute – question your angry thoughts – expectations, disappointments. Now ask, is there a different way that you could have looked at the situation?
• Instead of letting my mother's comments upset me initially, I wish I would've remained calm. I am still happy with the result I achieved, but I believe I could've made even more of an impact if I had remained calm and not let my emotions get the best of me.
Effect – Write down what you would like to see happen. What can you change and what can you accept?
• I would like to get better at accepting that everybody has their own opinions, and they don't effect me. I recovered nicely, but I wish I could have been calm from the beginning. My mother perceives tears as weakness, so in the future I would like to avoid sharing my emotional side with her, especially if she is going to laugh or mock me.
Brief Answer:
Followup
Detailed Answer:
You clearly put a lot of work into this worksheet, which is really amazing. Great job.
I think you thought through this encounter very clearly and gained some insights. Let me add a couple things. First, you shouldn't see emotions as a weakness. Emotions are natural and you have to acknowledge them. Just because your family sees them as weaknesses does not mean they are weaknesses. Emotions are only problematic when they lead to actions that hurt you. I think one action that could've been avoided is this: "the anger returned and I let her have it." Showing emotion is fine, but when your anger causes you to lash out, you get into trouble. Can you think of an alternative here? Maybe defusing your emotion in some way without lashing out at your mother? I think you recognize that this was a mistake, because you say you wish you had not let your emotions get the best of you. Using your rational faculties even in moments of high emotion is very difficult, but I believe this is something you can teach yourself to do.
Have you considered just cutting off contact with her for a while? Taking a break, seeing how it goes?
Dr. Sheppe
Followup
Detailed Answer:
You clearly put a lot of work into this worksheet, which is really amazing. Great job.
I think you thought through this encounter very clearly and gained some insights. Let me add a couple things. First, you shouldn't see emotions as a weakness. Emotions are natural and you have to acknowledge them. Just because your family sees them as weaknesses does not mean they are weaknesses. Emotions are only problematic when they lead to actions that hurt you. I think one action that could've been avoided is this: "the anger returned and I let her have it." Showing emotion is fine, but when your anger causes you to lash out, you get into trouble. Can you think of an alternative here? Maybe defusing your emotion in some way without lashing out at your mother? I think you recognize that this was a mistake, because you say you wish you had not let your emotions get the best of you. Using your rational faculties even in moments of high emotion is very difficult, but I believe this is something you can teach yourself to do.
Have you considered just cutting off contact with her for a while? Taking a break, seeing how it goes?
Dr. Sheppe
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Yogesh D
An alternative to lashing out might be removing myself from the situation until I calm down. Maybe I could take a few breaths and really think about what it is that I want to say, then come back when I feel in control again.
I have thought about cutting off contact with my family multiple times. I just can't seem to ever actually follow through on it.
I think part of the problem is that I don't feel like I have an identity without them. I don't feel like I have an actual identity at all. I don't know who I am, or what I want. I just feel like I'm wandering around through life aimlessly.
I have thought about cutting off contact with my family multiple times. I just can't seem to ever actually follow through on it.
I think part of the problem is that I don't feel like I have an identity without them. I don't feel like I have an actual identity at all. I don't know who I am, or what I want. I just feel like I'm wandering around through life aimlessly.
Brief Answer:
Followup
Detailed Answer:
That's an excellent idea. Sometimes removing yourself from the situation and taking a break is all that is necessary to break the explosive buildup of emotions.
What you're describing regarding your identity is termed "identity diffusion." It is a cardinal symptom of BPD. This refers to the idea that you have trouble forming your own identity, and instead allow it to be formed based on the desires of the people around you. This is dangerous, because what other people want for you is oftentimes not really what you really want for yourself.
We've reached the end of this thread. For the next thread, in addition to focusing on your scheduling this week with your husband, let's talk about identity. What kinds of things do you really and truly enjoy? What makes you passionate and excited when you're undertaking a new project? Where do you see yourself in 10 years, ideally?
Rate and close this thread and open up a new one. You're doing great.
Dr. Sheppe
Followup
Detailed Answer:
That's an excellent idea. Sometimes removing yourself from the situation and taking a break is all that is necessary to break the explosive buildup of emotions.
What you're describing regarding your identity is termed "identity diffusion." It is a cardinal symptom of BPD. This refers to the idea that you have trouble forming your own identity, and instead allow it to be formed based on the desires of the people around you. This is dangerous, because what other people want for you is oftentimes not really what you really want for yourself.
We've reached the end of this thread. For the next thread, in addition to focusing on your scheduling this week with your husband, let's talk about identity. What kinds of things do you really and truly enjoy? What makes you passionate and excited when you're undertaking a new project? Where do you see yourself in 10 years, ideally?
Rate and close this thread and open up a new one. You're doing great.
Dr. Sheppe
Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Yogesh D
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