Brief Answer:
need evaluation and couple counselling

Detailed Answer:
Hello XXXX

Thanks for writing to us.

I can understand your situation.Considering your age and history you provided , your problem would be more psychological than physiological I guess.

To have good sexual life as well as healthy marital life , intimacy and emotional bonding between husband and wife is necessary. Because of work you both can not provide time to each other and not spare quality romantic intimate time together.This may be one of the factors responsible for sexual problem.

For effective intercourse and satisfaction of female, size of penis does not matter much. Only 3 inches of vagina is sensitive form sexual arousal point of view. So in erect state 4 inches of penile size is sufficient to enough satisfaction to female.female. There is nothing like which can increase desire, it is love and relationship as well as physically and psychological fine health are the important aspects fro good sexual relationship.

Masturbation is the natural process of sexual satisfaction and done by 95% of males in the world during lifetime. It has not at all any side effects or can not cause any problem in sexual life.Same thing happens in hand during masturbation what happens in vagina during sex.So just relax about your habit of masturbation.Even if you are masturbating till now, it is ok.

If you can masturbate currently successfully, it suggests you do not have any physical problem in your penis.

From above explanation I think you have got some clue that what and where is wrong and what to do.

To reach to cause of your problem I need some information.

Ask your wife that what exactly her complaint is? Is it less erection or early ejaculation?

Are you taking or was taking alcohol,tobacco,smoking or any other substance?

If feasible go for serum testosterone level and send the reports.

Frequency of sex and/or masturbation in last 3 months.

Yours and your wife's education and work detail and work schedule.

Is there love marriage or arranged marriage?

Is there any economical,social,occupational or relationship stress are you (both) passing through?

Size of penis in lax and erect state.

Waiting for your reply to Guide you more.

Regards,

Dr.Chintan Solanki.

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Brief Answer:
Foreplay and Couple counseling for sex needed

Detailed Answer:
Hello,

Thanks for info and follow up.Though you could not provide me all details which I asked, I will try my best to answer.

You have stated absolutely right that sex is an act of two. When both partner involve physically as well as mentally, then only the best outcome possible.It is like clapping with one hand is not possible.

You can masturbate well. Your desire and gratification come with porn watching. These factors suggest,you are absolutely fine physically. No specific problem in you.

Here the problem lies in attitude of your wife towards sex. For healthy sexual relationship having good orgasm is not the only thing rather foreplay is more important. During foreplay couple make the gestures, acts or voices which make the partner excited. I think this factor is lacking from your wife as you have narrated. Reason might be her lack of knowledge regarding sexual activity, religious aspects, personal opinion for sex, some relationship issue or at last some lack of caring attitude towards her form your side in routine married life.

To solve this problem detail evaluation of you as a couple needed by a psychiatrist/qualified sexologist. If by chance she is not ready, you should go at least once.Master & XXXXXXX technique is very helpful for such issue.It requires 5-6 sessions of sex counselling in couple.

If I were your treating doctor at this point I will not prescribe any medicines.But if your wife does not agree to visit a doctor, I can give sildenafil 50 mg or tadalfil 10 mg 2 hours before sex. By this you can do surely a successful intercourse which can help to convince your wife to visit a doctor for that.

Hope I have answered your query. If still any need, you are welcome.

Regards,

Dr.Chintan Solanki.

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Brief Answer:
need time and stress management

Detailed Answer:
Thanks for more information XXXX.

It is really good that your wife is ready to go to doctor by herself. Please do not hesitate to go. No need to be tense about the situation.Even taking stress regarding it cause more problem.I am sure problem is not there in you but it is lack of understanding and intimacy between you. Psychiatrist will evaluate your history and make your wife understand that there is no problem with you and would do counselling of regarding sex methods and foreplay as well as relationship and intimacy.

You also required time for yourself and your wife from your tight schedule. I can understand that your profession is time consuming and with unpredictable schedule. She is also working for long hours. At this point you both need to understand that sex is not the only part for healthy married life but how you are attached with each other, your emotional bonding, quality romantic relax time with each other also matter a lot. You both need to learn time and stress management.

As I mentioned in last reply it may be lack of caring from your side is true somewhat. Due to work pressure you are not able to spare good time for her and family and hotel industry works in weekend also so situation is not favoring. But ultimately you need to understand that work and earning money are not the only aspects of healthy life. If you cannot get idea how to spare time, discuss with your doctor, ask your seniors to arrange schedule which would allow you to spare time with your wife at least 2-3 hour per day and 4-5 days a week other than the sleeping time. Once or twice a month take full leave and ask her also to take leave and enjoy the way you both like. This enjoyment time is not to be seen in regard to sex only.

It is good that you do no have any substance use. Keep it up. Do not take help of alcohol to relieve the stress.

Conclusion is, do not feel depressed with the situation. Just understand the reason behind the problem, relax yourself, go to psychiatrist with your wife and get rid of the situation with counselling. I do not think you will require any medicines if you got the points I have mentioned. If you keep patience, you will win.

Hope I have answered your query, I will be happy to answer if still any confusion.

Best wishes & Regards,
Dr.Chintan Solanki.

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