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Suggest Treatment For Abusive Personality Disorder

Posted on Mon, 20 Apr 2015

Question: ok i really think i need to see a doc. im getting really upset and sick because my boyfriend of 4yrs is always yelling at me and calling me names and screaming at me and never says he is sorry, its making me litterally sick and i feel like im gonna have a break down or give me a heart attackim already on blood pressure meds i think he is the reason i dont know what to do anymore . He is a alcoholic and wont get help but now i feel like i need help Please i dont know what i should do
I really need to know what i need to do..... is it possible for me to have a break down

Answered by Dr. Shubham Mehta (3 hours later)

Brief Answer:
need some details.

Detailed Answer:
Hello
Welcome to HCM.
I can understand your concerns.

Your boyfriend keeps yelling and screaming at you and you feel helpless because of his behaviour.

I understand how difficult can it be for someone who has to face this kind of behaviour from her partner.
This can be really traumatizing and can cause emotional and psychological problems in anyone, not just you.

I think we need to find out the reason for his behaviour. This would help to find a solution for this situation.

Since when his behavior has changed like this for you?
How is his behaviour with others?
What about your family, friends?
What do you think can be the reason for his such behaviour?
How do you tackle with this behaviour now?

Kindly reply back with the details.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Thanks.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Pradeep Vitta

Follow up: Dr. Shubham Mehta (1 hour later)

Well he has been like this since i moved in with him about 2yrs now. BUT it is Got to where its really bad so since we moved out of state he does not have anyone else in his family to do this too but me now.... He is ok with other people nice to them i have to listen to him complain about them . He is also drinks alot more now than before.. His father abused his mother mentally and physically . Also was an alcoholic. My boyfriend treats me even worse when his sons are around kinda like he is telling them to treat a woman like he does. I love him soo much BUT I can't deal with this anymore. . Just seems to be getting so much worse than it was, I really feel like im goin to just have a breakdown He does not hold a job at all. He hasn't kept 1 job for 1 yr yet he always has a excuse because they wanted him to do something he didnt want to he had to be in control or nothin works complains about everyone And everyone else is always the problem not him. I deal with it by goin to bed and just lettin him by himself if i were to go anywhere i have to hear about that or if i have a drink he tells me thats enough. He has to control Everything I do even when i should get my shower its just getting so much worse anymore that i cant deal with this anymore and when i say something the next day when he isnt drinking yet he says he didn't do that or he was kidding and he isnt kidding at all.Please help me to help him and myself. We cant have a pet as well i am so afraid he will hurt them or kill them. His sister and mother even have to me he will seriously hurt a animal never said if he has or why and my son has a dog and he is always telling the dog not to even look at him or he will kill it.

Answered by Dr. Shubham Mehta (2 hours later)

Brief Answer:
probable antisocial personality traits.

Detailed Answer:
Thanks for the details.

I have gone through your description thoroughly.

I think he has some kind of personality issues, more close to antisocial personality.
He is controlling and manipulating behavior, blaming others, aggressive, beating pets, drinking alcohol. These are some traits of antisocial personality.

I have some suggestions for you:
1. Stand for yourself. Never allow yourself to be taken for granted by him.
Make him realize that you too have feelings and he should respect this.

2. Do not allow him to take undue advantage of you.

3. Never show your emotional dependence on him.

4. Stay confident. Ask for what you deserve. Turn to your family and friends to share your feelings.

5. Never argue with him. This will increase the anger and frustration. But do not let him control you.

6. Persuade him to go to a health professional (a psychiatrist would be the best person). A de-addiction program as well as behavior therapy would be needed for him.

7. Sometimes, emotional emptiness can lead to such behaviour. If you think this can be the reason, you need work out the ways to deal with this in a calm and sober way.

Hope this helps.

Feel free to discuss further.

Thanks.

Note: For further guidance on mental health, Click here.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by : Dr. Prasad