Question: i am basically trying to keep my head above water. It is hard with so little money. I don't have enough good food to eat which is hard for me...I don't want to spend all of my go to Israel money but it is hard to live financially...my pain about XXXXXXX is still there but not as severe as usual because I am trying to stay off the streets....not sure how long I can do that....

thank you Dr Bishnoi. I appreciate it. I hope I get the job at counseling because I need the money so very badly. I am sad about XXXXXXX but i also am tired of the stress and the lack of peace as a result of his thinking we are stalkers. i don't understand how he can think we would hurt him. But he does I guess...he seems to think all people are out to get him and wants to just be alone all the time wondering why he is lonely. i hope I can forget him and wish my son would stop saying he is coming back to me...he and XXXX both believe he is coming back but now i don't want him back....that doesn't mean that I don't love him just that I am tired of having this sadness...


i am feeling suicidal again because I am so lonely for XXXXXXX XXXX picks fights with me all the time and I miss the good times i had with XXXXXXX and dont know that I will find a job. I want to take XXXXXXX and move away from here so badly but the car might take all my money for Israel now. I am really sad again stuck here with XXXXXXX and XXXX on my back.


Do you think I could email XXXXXXX or would that be a bad idea?

I am so mixed up. I broke off a tooth and it looks horrible..I am struggling with getting old and ugly and the thing with XXXXXXX took all of my will to live away from me. i feel horrible about myself and don't want anyone especially men to see me...it is also very hard to think about goinjg to israel..I have two thousand dollars but am using some of it to fix an old car...I feel so badly about myself old ugly useless....I can't seem to get out of this way of feeling about myself....maybe if I get a job and can get things fixed like my teeth I would feel better. but i don't think i will be going to israel and that is is hard for me to face too...not enough money...

I cant afford to take care of my tooth unless I get a job. I am still hoping for the peer counseling position as I cannot stand for any length of time due to my bad leg....how long do you think before I get over Michael? I always think of him on Wednesdays and Sundays because he works those days,

Do you think he will just get worse and worse? Will he keep contacting law enforcement if other people go to his store or is he just doing it to XXXXXXX and me...Does he hear our voices in his head?

Thank you for your continued help. i am mostly worried now about my money situation. I wake up worried about it because I can't even go to the grocery store. If XXXXXXX was here it would be different. His Dad is charging him too much and I need him to help me pay for the car insurance because I just don't have enough money to pay for gas or insurance,,,,he only has $90 for the next three weeks. I am using the Israel money to fix the car...I just want to be in Israel and forget XXXXXXX entirely.I wish he had never come into my life, It has been a nightmare. I loved him so much and he nearly destroyed me. And yet I know I will always love him deep inside but it doesn't seem to be hurting me so much anymore. If he wants to be crazy and alone hust let him. He has the right to be crazy and lose everything....his house his business everything will be gone....his inheritance is gone too or almost gone anyway but thats what he wants..