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Suggest remedies for erectile dysfunction

DOCTOR OF THE MONTH - Dec 2014
Dec 2014
User rating for this question
Very Good
Answered by

Psychiatrist
Practicing since : 2007
Answered : 4731 Questions
Question
Hello Doctor,

From past of couple of months my sex life has been disturbed. I got married last year (20th July 2016) and it was an arranged marriage. In the initial few months our sex life was good. We have had good sexual moments with each other. However, within span of 8-10 months of marriage the frequency of sex has been reduced to once in two weeks and sometimes once in a month. Now the situation has worsen a lot. It's been almost 5 months I did not have sex with my wife and that's spoiling our relationship. It seems I have lost that drive and attraction towards my wife which in turn never gives me erection if we are close and trying to be intimate. It's been diminishing day by day. Initially I thought I am suffering through an erectile dysfunction problem but its not the case, as I get erection when I am seeing an adult movie or any hot clips/porn. While watching these clips or images I do feel the sex drive in me, I get proper erection which I am missing when I am trying to be intimate with my wife.I do masturbate almost once every week and I believe the volume of sperm while ejaculating is also normal (by normal I meant a spoonful).
Just to add, I am not seeing any other woman nor I am involved in any of my past relationships, my work-life is balanced and I am not going through any emotional or any kind of stress.

This is my story in nutshell, please help me to find a way to come out of this situation. I'd be happy to answer any question if you may have.

Also, I want to confirm that is "Sexology" the right branch of medicine to deal with the problem I have explained above? Do I need to consult some Psychiatrist or should I meet a Sexologist in person? Your suggestions are welcome. Thank you.

Posted Sun, 19 Nov 2017 in Sexual Health
 
 
Answered by Dr. Seikhoo Bishnoi 53 minutes later
Brief Answer:
Try to talk with your wife for that. The problem could be psychological

Detailed Answer:
Hello thanks for asking from HCM for your health related doubts

I can understand your problem. You are getting erection while watching pornographic pictures or videos but have little or no drive during sex with your wife. This shows that there is no serious physical issue and most likely the problem is psychological.

Do you get spontaneous early morning tightness of penis during sleep?

Sex in movies is shown in dramatic manner and this is very different from reality. Like for example in pornographic movies oral intercourse is shown as an important part while as per research XXXXXXX women usually want to avoid oral sex. So you should keep your expectations low.

Talk with your wife regarding this and if possible make prolonged foreplay a rule. Long foreplay will ensure strong erection and a good pleasureful sex. Good sex will stimulate the brain and will improve the libido and with time you will start enjoying sex fully. Try to suppress the thoughts that you are not enjoying sex.

Thanks and Take care

You are welcome to ask follow up doubtS.
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