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Suffering from major depressive disorder, always getting abused for money. How to cope this situation?

Dec 2012
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Answered by

General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 2012
Answered : 1694 Questions
My sister and her kids have abused me financially for years. The nieces have young children. They constantly leech me of money using the kids as pawns. I am mentally challenged (Major Depressive Disorder) and I always feel guilt if I don't give them money. I am a retired military officer with pension and disability income. They all assume I should bail them out because I have this money. I am very independent and single female. I'm 64 yrs old. My heart tells me to just cut the ties entirely for my own well being. I can't stand the constant financial abuse and obviously lack of love on their part for me. What do you recommend? I know an intervention with them would not work as they are willfull and self serving and will continue doing what they are doing. I am mentally, emotionally and physically on the edge.
Posted Mon, 7 Oct 2013 in Mental Health
Answered by Dr. Nsah Bernard 1 hour later
Brief Answer:
Difficult situation to actually reach a compromise

Detailed Answer:

Thanks for posting on XXXXXXX

I totally understand the situation in which you might be going through and I must admit that your situation might be very difficult to handle even by the best medical experts. Saying so because, as a patient suffering from major depressive disorder, there are many external factors that can contribute to getting much more depressive and despite the fact that your sister and her kids' abuse of your kindness also contributes to this depression, cutting off them might also contribute as social isolationism is another aggravating factor to depression. If you decide to throw them off your life, you might not be any happier unless of course you ask yourself the question if it is the only choice.
If their being your life is detrimental to your overall health, then it will be wise to be detached off them and only allow people that can support you emotionally to be part of your lives.
If you decided to seek for help even online, it means your sister means something to you and the thought you abandoning them also seems to put you on harms way.
I suggest you put your sister down and try discussing about your health and how it is demanding to keep a healthy life. Then ask her to try getting a good job or if she is retired, her children must be old enough to be able to get a job for themselves.
Another recommendation is that you should take a vacation and visit a friend or another relative and let the vacation be long enough and do only keep in touch with them ones in a while. That will be a message for them to wake up that you might not be there for them all the time.
I also suggest you enlist in guidance counseling with a psychiatrist and group sessions will also help you get rid of the burden that you might be carrying.

Hope this helps and please feel free to write back.
Dr. Nsah
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Suffering from major depressive disorder, always getting abused for money. How to cope this situation? 13 hours later
Thank you for your XXXXXXX answer. Sister has bad case of COPD and can't work. One niece has stripped all her adult life and commutes two hrs to work. That's why she got her 3rd DUI 2 nights ago. Other niece can only get fast food work because she won't stop smoking pot. I know by cutting them out of my life will only hurt me. Guess I'm just going to have disengage slowly.
No need to reply. Thanks again.
Answered by Dr. Nsah Bernard 54 minutes later
Brief Answer:
Your welcome

Detailed Answer:
Thanks and you are welcome.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
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