Question: I have one of those questions that I have tried to ask my doctor a couple times and just chicken out. I have what I am sure is an XXXXXXX hemorrhoid. I have researched a lot about them and think that is it. I have had an issue for over a dozen years with blood in my stool when I go to bathroom especially when the stool is large and harder consistency. I was told a long time ago by a friend of the family that it can be caused by straining. So I actually chalked it up to that since when I was a teenager I was always pushing to go to the bathroom cause I hate being in there. I have ADHD but wan't diagnosed till this past year and have never been the type to just sit still and have even always waited till I about go to the bathroom in my pants just so I know I won't be in there long. A few years back it got to were the blood flow was kinda extreme and wasn't just a streak on the tissue anymore it was turning the toilet water red and took several wipes to stop bleeding. Then it just would go away for Months and Months and no problem then would just start up. Guessing maybe the types of food I was eating or something. So then I started dating this girl who (sorry to discuss this part) but when she would give me oral she would use her finger to rub my anus area. She didn't go inside but just from rubbing around the outer edge it started bleeding and got blood on the bed. That was an embarrassing conversation LOL. But we had the lights out and before we found out it was quite a bit of blood. Then I started reading up on hemorrhoids cause all I ever knew about them was they would come out of your anus and hang and you would have to sit on one of those donut cushions. So this was enlightening when I was on WebMD and they spoke of XXXXXXX ones and showed pictures. So I started exploring a bit and noticed that on the left side of my anus inside and coming all the way to the outer edge was what felt like a thick blood vessel. Kinda like when your veins are popping on your wrist or something and you can feel the bulge but felt it go into my anus a bit at least as far as I could handle my finger going. But felt exactly the way they described and how the picture was. Now of course everything said if you have lots of blood to talk to doctor but by this time I have not been having much issues in the bathroom just when she would do that. And in the bathroom it might have a slight streak but was only on first wipe no more after. But I ordered HemRid and its been Great and took it for 30 days around May of this year. Since then I have had no occurrences of blood again when going to the bathroom. But to test it one day cause I didn't want her to test it I was in the bathroom and I just rubbed the outer edge with my finger and after a few it started bleeding and I didn't even penetrate the anus just rubbed the outer side. So I am trying to find out is there anything I can do to get rid of this or is surgery really the only choice here. Sorry but tried to give the best background and that is it. She has discussed experimenting in bed and I am not wanting another issue as before. (Oh and by experimenting I just mean she wants to give oral while fingering me cause she heard it was amazing for the guy) ... I have been able to so far just shrug and say maybe another time but afraid we will be in the heat of it and she will try it and I will forget and then bam another bloody mess. Sorry but thought I would explain the issue and why I am needing info. And also why its very embarrassing to discuss with doctor. This at least I don't see you face to face and if surgery is only route I will schedule with a random doctor not mine since the only thing mine sees me for is ADHD medicine and nothing else. I never get sick so don't usually go to doctor. Let me know thanks for all your help and advise.