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Stressed. Affecting education, relationships and normal life. How can I deal with my emotions?

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Practicing since : 2004
Answered : 1835 Questions
Hi, im 27, 5'3, 110 pounds.
I m feeling so depression everything in life now, and it is affecting my study in school.
I lived far from family and was really stress in school and my roommate. Last time when I went home for holiday, the first day bf calleed and told me that he wanted a break, but not a break up. He said I was so stress and lacked of confidence that made him stress, too. He said I ruined our relationship, he want through 6 months I must have more confidence and know how to take out of stresses, then he probably comes back to me. He said we would talk once a week, but it has been 17 days and he didnt call me. Truth is that I dont understand what the break is. Will he come back a relationship with me?
Just let you know, my bf is psychiatrist. Usually, what he said he always think carefully and do the right thing. I really respects him on this. School was so stress, I really said some things that made us worser.
If he loves me, he has to understand me. It does not just leave me and ask me to changes. He said if he is still my bf, I can not change. Therefore, he wants us apart, I should do it by myself, and that is the only way that makes me change. Does he think that or he just say that to make us break up slowly?
He talked to me about the break on Saturday, and the next day he drove 2 hours to my house to hang out with me, and then he talked about it again at the end of day. We clearly talked about what he wanted and why he did it. He just wanted me to have more confidence when dealing with problems. He told me that we would talk once a week, but it has been more than 2 weeks we didnt talk. I miss him so much, but i did not call him. I worry that he does not respect me anymore and I dont want to bother him. However, Im waiting for him to call me first. Am I doing right? Right now I just want to come back school and focus on school.

I just came back school after holiday, my car got crashes, and there are some problems between me and my roommate (i gonna move out as soon as possible), too. All of these make me cant focus on study anymore. Although I dont cry, im feeling really horible. Im trying to focus on studying, but it is still not good. My bf was the one that I always talked when I had problem since he was as bf and my best friend. Im feeling so lonely now, should I call him? I really want him to be back with me. My head are thinking if he doesnt love me any more and use a break as avoiding for breaking up, but he is usually not that kind of person, and he is also a psychiatrist, he should not do that to me. Im so confused and tired ansd really want to study good, but my feeling is still being sad, so I cant focus on study.
Posted Thu, 26 Apr 2012 in Anxiety and Stress
Answered by Dr. Ashish Mittal 2 hours later
Thanks for your query.

You have provided a good description of your current suffering. From your detail history, it is clear that you have following symptoms:
• Low mood, crying from inside.
• Loss of confidence.
• Poor concentration.
• Feeling of loneliness.
• Loss of interest in previous pleasurable activities (anhedonia).
Tiredness and excessive fatigue.
• Inability to enjoy.
• Ideas of hopelessness.

All these are symptoms of depression and need attention. Apart from that, concurrently you have relationship stress which can exacerbate your depression. Depression is not always situational (because of stress). Many times it is biological due to biochemical changes in brain. Your depression appears to biological to me due to its severity.

Following measures will help you:
• First remember your situation is transient and will solve in few weeks if you follow my advice.
• Ask help from friends and family members, do not shy for that. Even do not shy to call your BF once in a week, even if he is not calling you.
• Make structured daily routine and make target for studies.
• Eat adequate food, fruits and drink juice. Avoid alcohol use if any.
• It is good that you study regularly but do not take much stress while studying
• Talk frequently with friends and family members.
• Most important visit psychiatrist so that he can counsel you and prescribe medicine for depression. Now very good medicines available for depression. People's life changes within weeks of treatment. It is always advisable to seek consultation from psychiatrist who are not related to you.

I hope this information has been both informative and helpful for you. In case of any doubt, I will be available for follow ups.

Please accept my answer in case you have no follow up queries.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Stressed. Affecting education, relationships and normal life. How can I deal with my emotions? 14 hours later
Since my bf is psychiatrist, he talked to me as he is doing good thing for me, and may help our relationship, but he did not call me. Is it true he just wants a break or he wants a break up?
Answered by Dr. Ashish Mittal 59 minutes later
Thanks for reverting.
Although your boy friend is a psychiatrist, it is better not to involve him in the treatment as it is always advisable to seek consultation from a psychiatrist who is not related to you.

It is difficult to comment on how he feels about the relationship and what he actually wants from it. However, I strongly feel that your present focus should be self improvement. If you follow this approach, most things in your life like your relationships, your academics would fall into place themselves. You would also feel more equipped and stronger to deal with stress and other issues that you face.

I believe that treatment of your depression will help improve your relationship as I have seen in many cases.

Wish you good health,
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
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