Brief Answer:
Changed life style & pro social activities would help.

Detailed Answer:
Hi xxxxxxxxxxxxx 1939,
Thanks for the query.I can understand your concern.
I feel you are finding similarity between your childhood ( which was dry.. as far as mother's love & care ) to your present condition & that makes you cry. .. That is out of self pity. & you want to be out of the condition ( which is but natural.) You have already left your wife and unable to find another company...In such condition you have to find some midway to entertain & emotionally satisfied.At the same time it's better to follow some other way rather than being disturbed by the things not practicable.
There is one golden rule.. the change has to start with your own self. LET us think of few life style changes which would help you.
A) Get specific treatment for any health problems you have. Keep yourself physically & self sufficient.
B) 1. First of all.. Try to be emotionally settled. Try Yoga & Pranayama ( respiratory exercises ) with Mind concentration exercises( meditation ). Try to be positive. Use Yoganidra audio cassette & get a sound sleep..which is important for psychological XXXXXXX
2. Fortunately you are at good terms with your children & grand children. Try to help them .. by whatever little way you can / tell good stories to grand children, play with them./ always speak nicely & praise the family members for their goodness. .. instead of criticizing/imposing your own views ,& repeating how your days were golden & how sad you are now. ( Don't even repeat such nigetivities to yourself )
3 You can join a company of your own age group & have a joyful time spent with them for few hours every day.
4. Try to enjoy any art you were fond of. Start joining such activities in the town regularly.( reading / listening/ singing, drawing -- if you can't do it your self because of age.. observing others doing & encouraging them would be an enjoyable thing.
5. You had been left in an orphanage.. and the days keep on nagging you... think of unfortunate kids who stay in orphanage of your town. Start visiting the place regularly.. & try to make their days bearable by your company. You will definitely be remembered in their adult hood as a near & dear one.
Not these you can think of many more ways of your interest to entertain you & help you to be emotionally strong.
* Thus being healthy & self sufficient, a positive feeling & XXXXXXX developed within you( by yoga & meditation) can be reflected in society. Helping each one coming in contact/ speaking encouraging & caring words would reflect back to you. The feeling of being useful & wanted would make you emotionally stable .. that is a way to healthy aging.
I hope you liked the answer & found it useful & informative.Any follow up query is welcome.
Thanks.

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Brief Answer:
TM meditation would help you.

Detailed Answer:
Hi xxxxxxxxxxxxxx1939,
Thank you for the feed back. It made me aware that the person I am answering is a successful man who had earned loads of respect & love in his active life. The thing to be noted is he is also an artist( of the caliber to hold solo exhibitions of paintings & sculptures!) He has a strong awareness of social binding ( running a trust to support parkinson's disease affected people! ) On the top of that he has humanity & attitude to help disabled person & tries to help cerebral palsy patient !
I was wondering how a person of such caliber has been emotionally down .. to the extent of crying ! I had analyzed all of your information & thought of it in light of my knowledge & social experience ... to come to a conclusion..
Sir, what happens is ,every one of us get our share of success , wealth & acknowledgement in our active days. As a natural tendency of human being we gain self esteem. The love / respect gained in return of the service offered, pampers our self esteem.. to the extent that at a moment esteem is converted in self ego... !! We forget our personal life, relations & get busy in pampering & over pampering it ...
And the balloon of the ego bursts when we get retired. Once the authority is gone, the social attitude changes & we easily get hurt, disappointed .. the thing goes on deteriorating with advance of age! & this is where one needs to change the attitude towards life.
Again as a human attitude we try to find cause for the condition.. every human being holds somebody else to be at fault .. so is the your case ,you blame your days in orphanage /Ladies ( probably your mother & wife ) who had given you hard time.. This what I feel is the root cause of your problem.
Sir, as you had taken it, the tips I gave were not directed to building self esteem.. but to forget it, be a simple human being trying to fetch small moments of happiness by serving needy people.... happiness being reflected from their smiling faces !
I am happy to learn that you are already doing TM meditation. Sir, You are on right path. I learn that TM meditation is based on some Mantras.. while chanting them.. one concentrates on voice first.. the point of concentration slowly shifts to meaning of mantra... & gradually awakens inner wakefulness... devoid of any perceptions.. gradually a stage of unbound happiness is reached.. this cherishes physiology body & mind so a blissful condition is reached.
So I want to conclude that.. you have the solution with yourself sir.. don't worry. Keep on doing the meditation to achieve deep & deep level of self realization & be happy !
At the most if you feel necessary you can take few sittings of a counselor to remove deep seated misconception in your subconscious.
I hope You find the answer to be useful. Any follow up query is welcome.
Thanks.

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