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How To Manage Extreme Jealousy And Over-possessive Behavior Of Ex-partner?
Question: My daughter's father and I split up a little while ago, and now I'm in a relationship with one of his friends. They weren't very good friends, and my ex used to ignore his phone calls and complain about him after any time they met up. However my ex is still very upset about the whole situation, saying that a "bro-code" was violated. I would understand this more, if they had been better friends (they were more like acquaintances really, because my ex alienated all of his friends), but I guess I think a little bit more logically in this situation, considering my ex knows he can trust my new boyfriend around our daughter. Whereas, had I started dating someone he didn't even know, he would never have any reason to believe his daughter was safe when in my care (he's crazy over protective). He likes to tell me that the whole situation would have been ok with him, had my boyfriend asked him for permission prior to being with me. This angers me, as I am not, and never was my ex's "possession".
Can anyone suggest a healthy way to resolve this? My ex wants us all to sit down to coffee or something together, but I really just want to be psychologically prepared, in case my ex gets mad, or something goes wrong.
Can anyone suggest a healthy way to resolve this? My ex wants us all to sit down to coffee or something together, but I really just want to be psychologically prepared, in case my ex gets mad, or something goes wrong.
Brief Answer:
use caution
Detailed Answer:
Hello and thank you for your question
This sounds like it could be a volatile situation. Several things in your query make me concerned that your ex may have some worrisome problems with jealousy. In anyone, after a relationship ends it can still be hard to see the person you were with being happy with another person. If there is extreme jealousy or over possessiveness involved things can get ugly very fast. The absolute best way to handle this would be to have the three of you meet with a counselor that is trained in mediation. If you want to maintain a healthy relationship with your ex then having a mediator present to maintain objectivity could help you toward that goal.
If that is not possible then I suggest that you meet with your ex alone first and see how volatile he is. Once some time has passed and he has calmed down some then possibly the three of you could meet.
I am concerned that if you put the two men together at this point without a mediator then things may get ugly and ruin your changes for a healthy ongoing relationship with your ex.
Regards,
Dr. Robinson
use caution
Detailed Answer:
Hello and thank you for your question
This sounds like it could be a volatile situation. Several things in your query make me concerned that your ex may have some worrisome problems with jealousy. In anyone, after a relationship ends it can still be hard to see the person you were with being happy with another person. If there is extreme jealousy or over possessiveness involved things can get ugly very fast. The absolute best way to handle this would be to have the three of you meet with a counselor that is trained in mediation. If you want to maintain a healthy relationship with your ex then having a mediator present to maintain objectivity could help you toward that goal.
If that is not possible then I suggest that you meet with your ex alone first and see how volatile he is. Once some time has passed and he has calmed down some then possibly the three of you could meet.
I am concerned that if you put the two men together at this point without a mediator then things may get ugly and ruin your changes for a healthy ongoing relationship with your ex.
Regards,
Dr. Robinson
Above answer was peer-reviewed by :
Dr. Pradeep Vitta
Answered by
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