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How to control emotional outbursts?

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Practicing since : 1983
Answered : 1486 Questions
I'm upset with myself. When faced with situations where I should be loyal, I often spill the beans to protect my own interests or to put the blame on someone else. Then I feel terrible about it. There was a situation at work. I was going to take a whole bunch of students to the staff hockey game, a coworker who I like very much didn't think it was fair that I would be handling all of those kids, the other two teachers who classes I was taking have a reputation for being kind of selfish. So, my coworker went and told the office what was happening and the two teachers got an ear full for not taking their own students. One of them came to me in tears and said "how did anyone even know you were taking them?" Instead of saying "I don't know," I told her that my coworker might have said something. Nw I feel like a total backstabber and I'm really mad at myself for saying that. I do this kind of stuff. I don't know if I should go to my coworker and apologize and tell her that I ratted her out. I don't want to hurt her but I already did the wrong thing by her. If someone came to me and told me something like tat I wouldn't be able to trust them. I feel really untrustworthy, even though I do consider myself to be a very nice, kind, generous person, I do find that in times where I feel I need to protect myself or when I don't want people to be mad at me I am not loyal and I hate myself for this
Posted Sat, 8 Mar 2014 in Mental Health
Answered by Dr. Saatiish Jhuntrraa 6 hours later
Brief Answer: go to your coworker and apologize Detailed Answer: Hello Thanks for choosing WWW.WWWW.WW It seems you can't control your emotions and get excited when talking to people. Though you are honest from inside, you sometimes say something's that could have been avoided. I suggest you a few things Try to listen more and speak less. Take a moment before you speak Avoid criticizing others. Go to your co worker and accept the truth. This will clear your inner feelings and try to follow these things in future. Trust takes time to develop so if you correct yourself, you will gain the trust Good Luck Dr Saatiish Jhuntrraa
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: How to control emotional outbursts? 53 minutes later
I'm very scared to go to her. She does not know that I told the other teacher that she said something. I feel that if I go to her and apologize she will be very hurt that I did that and we won't be friends. I agree that I need to listen more than I speak, I am the type of person who always initiates conversations, talks a lot, and I don't like uncomfortable silence so I fill it up with talking. I'm quite extroverted and have no problem striking up conversations with anyone. I would like some advice on how to become a better listener. And also on how to help myself be less impulsive. Often I speak without really thinking, then regret what I've said. I don't want to be a two faced person, but I seem to do it a lot and I really hate it, it makes me not like myself.
Answered by Dr. Saatiish Jhuntrraa 1 hour later
Brief Answer: Have courage and apologize Detailed Answer: Hello Don't worry what she will think of you. I am sure it will have positive influence. People respect honesty in relationship. Draw courage and go to her. For being a good listener, say very few words and don't interrupt others till they have finished. Practice it over and over again. Think for a moment before you do anything, will help reduce impulsivity. Good Luck Dr Saatiish Jhuntrraa
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
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