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How can loss of virginity be hidden?

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General & Family Physician
Practicing since : 1968
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hi, i have lost my virginity with my boy-friend who dumped me and now I am getting married to someone else. How do I hide that I am not a virgin?
Please let me know how to hide that I lost my virginity from my future husband.
Posted Mon, 16 Apr 2012 in Sexual Problems
Answered by Dr. Andrew Rynne MD 4 hours later
Hi there.

Thank you for posting your question. I will do my best to help you.

Although you and I come from very differing cultural backgrounds, when it comes to the importance of "virginity" before marriage, I do nonetheless respect your concerns and worry.

The situation is this: Virginity, as defined by an intact and undamaged hymen, is not at all as clear cut, discernible or as um-ambiguous as some might like to believe. In real life, the intact, undamaged hymen may be pliable, discreet, or almost nonexistent. The notion that every woman bleeds on first having intercourse is felonious.

But not just that. Even if the hymen were an inevitable, non-variable, consistent anatomical structure, and it is no such thing, it could be damaged by activities other than previous sexual intercourse. Use of tampons, self pleasuring and, most importantly of all, gynecological examination could damage this sometimes mythical structure.

So, to answer your question. You do not need to hide anything. You are talking here of a hugely variable and sometimes, non-existent anatomical structure. Where it does exist it can be obliterated by vaginal speculum during gynaecological examination. And what man would not respect a woman's right to make sure all was well gynaecological with his new wife before they got married?

I hope that I have answered your questions fully and been of some help. If you have anymore questions please contact me again anytime.

Dr Andrew Rynne.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: How can loss of virginity be hidden? 2 hours later
I would like to inform you that I have had sex with my previous boyfriend uncountable number of times. My boy-friend dumped me and I am getting married to another guy next year. I belong to a conservative society and I am marrying a guy from a conservative family, as arranged by my parents. So, besides bleeding is there any chance that the guy might find out that I am not a virgin?
Answered by Dr. Andrew Rynne MD 9 hours later
Hi there again. Thank you for your follow-up question.

No, please stop worrying. I fully understood your question. I noted the fact that you had previous intercourse - the number of times actually makes no anatomical difference - and appreciated your concerns about this.

Besides the lack bleeding, which can be explained in many ways as outlined above, there is no way that this guy is going to be able to tell whether you are a "virgin" or not. Stop fretting and have a happy marriage.
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
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