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How can I get attracted to my wife and get aroused despite her unpleasant appearances?

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Practicing since : 2004
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Iam newly married and i face a problem with my wife that even she is in full nude i am not able to arose due to her physical apprience , i dont feel and current flowing between us form the begining of out marriage, she has developed and huge amount of hair in her legs, thigs and buttocks. Even in face and breasts and in many others parts of the body. Even i dont feel like fucking her ever than the first week of my marriage. Intially i thought it was my dyfunctioning problem but later i realised that it was her problem because i hav'nt felt that any current or pleasure while kissing her or touching her . i will think about some body and fuck her or masterbate. Do i need to have any test for her or me please advice me
Posted Sun, 22 Apr 2012 in Sexual Problems
Answered by Dr. Ashish Mittal 3 hours later

Thanks for your query.

Important points of your query:
•     New marriage
•     Chief complaints: Not getting arousal due to excessive generalised hairs growth in wife
•     Normal arousal during masturbation

Considering your case you do not appear to have any sexual problem and it is usual to have difficulty arousal problem due to poor physical appearance of partner. But what matter more is resolution of this problem. Your wife appears to have condition (Not disease) called hirsutism in which there is excessive growth all over the body. It is better to search for solution of current problem rather than worrying about it.

Following steps will be helpful:
•     Do not have physical contact with wife till solution is met to prevent development of aversion for physical contact. Enjoy each other’s company and spend time in understanding each other.
•     Do not express your concern about her physical appearance to, her and others openly otherwise there are chances of developing negative self image and ideas of guilt in your wife.
•     Get help of female member in your family to improve physical appearance of your wife by: waxing and other procedures by beautician.
•     Search for cause of current problem. Hirsutism can occur in following conditions: obesity, with use of some medications, hormonal imbalance, and problem related to ovary.
•     Final management depend on the cause of the problem so take opinion from gynaecologist and endocrinologist.

Hope this will help you. If you have any more queries, I am available for follow ups.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: How can I get attracted to my wife and get aroused despite her unpleasant appearances? 41 hours later
Even i don't feel any current flow or like feminine feel while I am with her.
Hair in her body is so huge that we cant even imagine that any women would possess such a huge amount of hair.And my other main concern is the feel of some current flow when a women touch us.
Answered by Dr. Ashish Mittal 7 hours later

As I told you should focus on managing current situation.
I agree with you that it is unusual to have excessive hairs for female and lack of arousal (feeling current) in presence of poor physical appearance of partner. So follow above steps and keep appointment with specialist for treatment of excessive hair growth.

Hope this will help you.

Above answer was peer-reviewed by
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