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Having problems in ejaculating when having sex. What is the treatment?

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Practicing since : 2008
Answered : 1197 Questions
XXXXXXX my boyfriend find it really hard to cum i mean he has cummed before in me n he can cum easily when not in the vagina is there anything you csn do to help
Posted Sat, 2 Nov 2013 in Men Sexual Problems
Answered by Dr. Anjana Rao Kavoor 1 hour later
Brief Answer:
Further details please.

Detailed Answer:
Thanks for writing in to us.

I have read through your query in detail.

I understand your boyfriend has ejaculated normally inside you on earlier occasions and presently he is having problems in ejaculating when having sex. However, he does not face the same problem when masturbating.

1. Please let me know his age and since when is he having this problem?
2. It it happening all the time while he is having vaginal sex with you or once in a while?
3. When was the last time he was able to cum inside you?
4. Does he suffer form any medical diseases like diabetes or is he taking any medicines?
5. What do you mean exactly by feeling hard to cum now? is he taking too long or it never happens when in the vagina?
6. Is he getting proper erections?

Waiting for updates from your end.

Take care.
Dr.A.Rao Kavoor
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
Follow-up: Having problems in ejaculating when having sex. What is the treatment? 10 hours later
1.23 and about 6ish months
2.all the time
3.about 7 months ago at the first few months of the start of our relationship never happens
6.yes he has no problems getting full erections they last for ages
hes said it feels nice at the start of sex and he feels like he wants to cum but then he said after a while it feels like something is just rubbing on his penis i dont no what to do can you help
Answered by Dr. Anjana Rao Kavoor 4 hours later
Brief Answer:
The cause is most likely psychological.

Detailed Answer:

Thanks for writing back,

Since he is specifying a cause of something rubbing against him after penetration, you could get yourself evaluated by a gynecologist to rule out any slow-growing painless mass inside first. Once that is ruled out, if he does not ejaculate only on penetration there is a high possibility of the problem being psychological rather than anything physical. There could be many causes of the same like a performance anxiety, fear of failure, partner demands, discord in the relationship, fear of emotional intimacy, restricted foreplay, depression or anxiety etc. If there is a specific cause then it needs to be addressed. Once they are ruled out, if it still persists what you can try doing is taking it slow for now to avoid a repeated sense of failure in him. Repeating the same sequence of events would only confirm the anticipation of failure he might have before starting each time. Try and enhance arousal by stimulation either by you or him (with whatever he is comfortable). He needs to then focus his attention on the sensations he experiences. First let the ejaculations occur without penetration. Going slow in a step wise manner will ease the anxiety. Next let the ejaculations occur near the site of penetration. After this, you may then try penetration –only just before he ejaculates with vigorous thrusting. This needs to be spaced over a few weeks at least, since 7 months of persisting problem will not disappear in a day or two. Also, male superior position is recommended for this problem as it facilitates ejaculation.

I hope this helps,
Dr. A Rao Kavoor
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
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