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Have the urge to have sex after masturbation. Feel uncomfortable and unable to sleep. How to overcome this problem?

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Psychiatrist
Practicing since : 2008
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I am a male 17yrs old
generally during the night and at times in the day also my penis goes hard and i have the urge to have sex but after masturbating the ejaculation is very less and also less thick but then also i am not relaxed and have the urge to do it again
It takes away my sleep as i am not comfortable and unable to sleep
can u please suggest me as to how should i overcome this problem its a lot of pain as i stay in a boys hostel and others will make fun.
it also gives me a lot of weakness and i feel very tired during the day
please suggest is it normal or what should i do to overcome it
it feels very odd when my pants go tight and prominent at the genital area
Posted Wed, 7 Aug 2013 in Penis Problems
 
 
Answered by Dr. Anjana Rao Kavoor 32 minutes later
Hi,

Thanks for writing to us,

I'm glad you decided to seek medical help for your problem.

Masturbation is a natural and universal component of psychosexual development. It is very commonly seen, especially in males. It does not cause weakness or tiredness unless you do it excessively. Having an erection by sexual thoughts and having the urge to have sex or masturbate is normal, but if this happens repeatedly and against your willful control like a compulsion that you cannot get rid of from your mind then it is a problem that you need to address. You also report that it is causing difficulty in your sleep. The ejaculation may be less because you do it repeatedly.

Yes i understand at your age this can cause difficulty in your social life as well.

The solution for this is to get yourself evaluated by a psychiatrist. He/she will take a detailed history to find out to what extent you have the problem and depending upon this treatment will be discussed with you. Your symptoms maybe a part of what is known as an obsession or a compulsion in psychiatric terms where you have repeated thoughts and an urge to masturbate several times.Your problem maybe at an initial stage and not at a disorder level. That may be treated by psychotherapies where sessions will be taken by a psychologist to slowly stop the repeated urge to do it.

Wishing you fast recovery,
Hope this answered your questions,
Write back in case of doubts,
Dr A Rao Kavoor
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
 
Follow-up: Have the urge to have sex after masturbation. Feel uncomfortable and unable to sleep. How to overcome this problem? 8 minutes later
Thanks for your answer Dr.
But the problem is that my mom expired last year and i cannot discuss it with my dad.
I am not comfortable discussing with him.
The urge that i have can it be avoided by indulging in hobbies can u help me out regarding the same as i have no one to discuss to and going to any doc would be difficult as i am staying in a hostel and then i am with my dad
I can control my self my feelings so can u plzz suggest me what to do in order to get away from it
Is it anyways harmful for me
Will it cause a problem in future because i have a long way to go

 
 
Answered by Dr. Anjana Rao Kavoor 16 hours later
Hi,
Thanks for writing back.

I can give you a few tips based on your present situation. Complete evaluation, however is possible only after consultation in person.

Usually compulsions (masturbation or urge to have sex) are followed by an anxiety provoking thought. You say that you get an erection and you masturbate and then you need to repeat your action several times. Your action might be preceded by an anxiety provoking thought. Some small thought maybe causing the erection without realizing. Then anticipatory anxiety develops that “now I (you) will get embarrassed”.

You have to first identify those doubts. You have to list out your doubts for days. Also write down any thought that happens just before the erection, this is because some automatic thoughts can get missed. Then you must modify your behavior such that you work on not getting affected by these thoughts.

You may try your best to leave your erection without masturbating and see how long you can resist. At the same time, you need to XXXXXXX your anxiety. It will slowly rise after erection but if you resist further, then anxiety or urge will peak and come down by itself.

This is cognitive behavior therapy and done under guidance of a psychiatrist or psychologist for best results.

You could always distract your mind from these thoughts by getting busy with simple hobbies like listening to music, drawing pictures, going for a long walk and doing fitness exercises.

This condition is completely treatable and you surely will have a normal life in future as you grow up.

Wishing you the best.
Hope this answered your questions,

Dr A Rao Kavoor
Above answer was peer-reviewed by
 
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