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Gets angry and left alone. Cry for long hours. Get fits and unbearable. Will this type of behavior affect mind?

Feb 2013
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Answered by

Practicing since : 2002
Answered : 3176 Questions
I have two children. Elder daughter is 2 years and 8 months old and the younger son is 10 months old. My wife takes care of them all the time at home. Both are normal and don't have any problems. My daughter loves his brother and takes care of him all the time. We as parents do not show any partiality to the kids. In some situations, that too all of a sudden, my daughter becomes very angry and ask us to leave my son alone and take care of her and will cry non-stop even for an hour. Even consoling her for long time does not work. Sometimes she cries to an extent that she will get some kind of fits and unbearable. We as parents think it is normal. But I would like to know if this behaviour will affect my daughter's mind in the long run. Kindly advice us to treat our daughter to avoid this type of behaviour. We want to identify and solve any problems in the early stage itself (like way of life, food habits etc...). Kindly advise us what can we do for my daughter.

Posted Sat, 6 Jul 2013 in Parenting
Answered by Dr. E Venkata Ramana 3 hours later

Thank you for your query on Healthcare Magic.

This is somewhat more common problem with two siblings in a family-known as sibling rivalry.

Sibling rivalry usually starts right after, or before the arrival of the second child.

While siblings still love each other, still they have rivalry for love, affection, and care from parents.

Children are sensitive from the age of 1 year to differences in parental treatment and by 3 years, they have a sophisticated grasp of family rules and can evaluate themselves in relation to their siblings.

As mother has to show more attention towards the younger kid obviously because of his dependency, the elder child thinks of less care from parents.

She is crying for attention seeking to get more care from her mother.

If she cries a lot, try to ignore the behavior. The crying up to extent of a fit looks like a breath holding spell.

Ignoring the attention seeking behaviors like crying, shouting will reduce those behavior frequency by negative feedback mechanism.

Involve her in the care of her younger brother under supervision and praise her for doing this.

As the age grows, this behavior will decrease.

You can follow the measures :

1.Set ground rules for acceptable behavior.

2.Don't let the child make you think that everything has to be fair and equal-
sometimes one kid needs more than the other.

3.Be proactive in giving your kid one-on-one attention directed to her interests
and needs.

4. Make sure kids have their own space and time to do their own thing.

5.When mother is attending the younger, father should engage the elder in play
and looking after her needs.

Explain and tell her in soothing way the need for taking care of her younger brother.

If you find difficulty in following these measures, take the help of your regular pediatrician.

Hope I have answered your query, if you have any clarification please let me know.

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